


Death Walked the Earth

by Dreamshaper



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Zombies, it's the zombie apocalypse so, this will have a few violent scenes but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-11-14 19:20:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 27,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11214588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamshaper/pseuds/Dreamshaper
Summary: The world has gone to Hell as the zombie apocalypse hits. Hiding away in her parents' house, Erin Gilbert is just focused on surviving when an eccentric blonde stumbles into her life. The Holtzbert Zombie Apocalypse AU nobody asked for XD





	1. Chapter 1

The nights were always the worst.

Daytime wasn’t exactly pleasant, either, but the nights were the worst; the… things (Erin didn’t quite want to call them zombies, not yet, even though that was exactly what they were) seemed to get more active once the sun went down, became faster and more agile and _hungrier_.

And so, Erin always made sure to be home before the sun went down – not that she went far from the house she had been hiding away in ever since all of this had started, and only went out when she absolutely had to, to get food, water and other necessities – and spent most of the nights quietly sitting in the dark, not wanting to alert them to her presence as they shambled around outside.

She didn’t sleep much, never managing more than light dozing, and never for longer than two hours at a time; and so, she was scared and tired, feeling lost and helpless in this strange new world, and in the darkest hours of the night, she often found herself wondering if she was the only one left, or if there were others out there like her, people who were somehow immune to the disease which had turned everyone else into these frightening, always hungry things.

The thought that there might be no others frightened her, but she also had to admit to herself that, even if there were others out there which were not like those things, which were like her, she wouldn’t meet them anytime soon – she never went far from the house which had been her parents’ after all, and whenever she saw a human figure in the distance, she hid, never knowing if it was another one of those things or another regular human. 

She had weapons in her parents’ house, but wasn’t quite sure how effective they would be – and how effective she would be with them; her father had been an avid collector of weaponry, a whole room in the house was dedicated to his collection of swords, shields, spears, and bows, and she had taken one of those bows, along with some arrows, but it had been years since she had made use of this kind of weapon, hoping that she wouldn’t have to find out the hard way any time soon.

And so, Erin sat in the dark, with a bottle of water and several granola bars at her feet, and her father’s bow in her lap; and she wondered how long she would have to live like this, how long one _could_ live like this, before the loneliness and isolation would get too much and would drive her insane.

If she even would live long enough to find out, she thought to herself, in those dark hours; there were no more hospitals, no more doctors, and so, even if the strange disease which had turned so many into these… things, even if that wouldn’t get her, something else might. Appendicitis, for example, Erin pondered, hers had never been removed, or a broken leg so she’d be unable to get more food, or just something as harmless as a cold which got out of control.

Or a thousand other mundane things she thought about, during those dark hours of the night; sometimes, she heard them outside as she sat there, heard them groan and moan, sometimes so close to the house that she had to put her fist in her mouth so she wouldn’t scream.

She wondered if they could smell her, or if the walls were too thick; they certainly could hear her though, she had learned that fairly quickly, and so she made sure to keep quiet, even gave her best to breathe quietly, whenever she heard them too close to the house.

She also wondered what she would do, once the stores close to the house, within walking distance, would have no more food for her; she had canned food and water, enough to last her a while longer, but she knew that sooner or later, she’d have to go out again, and find more, and the mere thought made her blood run cold.

And like this, Erin existed from day to day, not sure if this could still be called living; she was always scared, and always tired, never getting enough sleep, but she didn’t know what to do, just venturing out on her own seemed impossible, and even if she did meet others, others who were immune like her, she could never be sure that they wouldn’t mean her harm, anyway.

She thought of the books and movies she had seen, about the end of the world, and of the dangers waiting in these worlds for humans and all too often especially for women, and the thought of ending up in the hands of another survivor who was a sex-crazed maniac terrified her even more than the things did.

A few more days went by, days during which Erin hid away in the house, glad that her parents had been avid readers and that so, she had an impressive number of books to keep her mind occupied; there was no more electricity, so no TV, radio or internet, her cell phone had died weeks ago, and so, books were all she had.

Then, she had to venture out again, as she was starting to run low on water; she tried to ration it, always did, but still it always ran out far too quickly, and so, she soon set out again early in the morning, feeling absurd with the bow in hand and an actual quiver of arrows dangling from her side, but then, she figured, looking armed might make her look dangerous, and while that certainly wouldn’t impress the things, it might impress any other survivors who might see her and get the wrong ideas about what they could do with a woman who obviously was all on her own in this mess.  

She had to look like an extra from a fantasy movie, Erin thought to herself as she walked to the nearest store, always looking around to make sure neither another human, nor one of the things could sneak up on her; there weren’t many bottles of water left at said store, she knew, but she’d rather take those and head back to the safety of her house before she’d walk farther and risk injury or even death.

It didn’t take her long to reach the store, and to her relief, it looked exactly like it had the last time she had been there; moving quickly, not wanting to spend too much time outside, Erin leaned her bow against the nearest shelf, then pulled off her backpack and started filling it with water bottles, making sure to stack them so that she could get as many as possible into it, but still working fast, having gotten quite efficient at this by now.

Once the backpack had been filled to the point where it was difficult to close it again, Erin put it back on, grimacing at the weight; she grabbed her bow and moved towards the store’s front door, only to freeze on the spot as she saw a figure on the road leading to said front, a woman, a closer look told her, shuffling along with her head hanging so low that her chin seemed to rest on her chest.

Before she could stop herself, Erin let out a whimper, clutching her bow tighter; the woman up ahead didn’t look as bad as some of the things she had seen shamble around, but bad enough to make her blood run cold, the way she shambled closer and closer, arms dangling down her sides, and now that she had gotten closer, Erin could see the stains on her pants and the hem of her shirt, her stomach clenching and turning.

She had gotten quite good at recognizing dried blood on all sorts of surfaces, and could tell at once that the woman’s pants were covered in the stuff.

With her hands trembling, Erin quickly pulled an arrow from the quiver, eager to slow the woman down even further; if her backpack hadn’t been so heavy, she would have ran, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep any substantial speed up for long, and so, making sure that the thing couldn’t chase after her had to be done first.

She’d never actually seen any of them run, but she didn’t want to find out the hard way if they could.

Quickly, Erin notched the arrow, then took careful aim; something still held her back from aiming for the upper body or even the head, perhaps morals she had learned when the world had been a less violent, frightening place, and so, she aimed for the thing’s thigh, holding her breath for a second or two – before she let the arrow fly, and for a second, she was darkly satisfied when it hit the thing’s right upper thigh with a somewhat meaty and a bit disturbing _thunk._

Then, the woman stumbled, and went down on her other knee; her head moved a bit as she looked at the arrow which now protruded from her leg… and Erin felt as if all air left the world around her when the woman said “Ow. What.”, in a slurred, but still all too clear voice.

She’d never seen any of them run, and didn’t know if they actually could, but she knew for sure that they couldn’t talk, that their brains were too rotten by the point they turned from a human into of the things, and she felt like throwing up when she realized what she just had done.

For a few more seconds, Erin stood frozen, unable to do anything but stand and stare; then, the woman slumped forward and fell facedown onto the sidewalk, and the bow clattered from her suddenly numb fingers as she ran to the other woman’s side, her heart hammering up to her throat as she tried to figure out what to do now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a prompt a while ago asking for Erin giving Holtzmann stitches. Well - here we go xD It shouldn't be too graphic, but if the idea squicks you out, proceed with caution. :)

The smart thing, Erin thought to herself as she huffed and sweated, probably would have been to just leave the woman there, human or not; the same morals which had kept her from aiming for the head or chest though wouldn’t allow her to do that, and so, she found herself dragging the by now passed out woman back to her house, having gripped her beneath the armpits, not sure if this was a smart thing to do, but also knowing that she didn’t have any other options – had she been better with her hands, she might have tried to build a stretcher, but building things never had been a skill she’d possessed, and so, dragging the injured woman along it was.

The arrow was still stuck in her thigh, wobbling slightly as Erin dragged her over the sidewalk; she hoped that the smell of blood wouldn’t attract any of the things which might be shuffling around nearby, and not even the fact that she couldn’t hear any of them anywhere made her feel better, as she was quite sure that the sound of the woman being dragged along and her own heavy panting would drown out any noise one of the things nearby might make.

She was quite relieved when she made it back to the house without any further incident; as quickly as she could, Erin dragged the woman inside, then lowered her to the floor in the hallway, not quite sure what to do next as she stood there, feeling a bit lost.

“I’m a physicist, dammit”, she mumbled to herself, a habit she had developed quite recently, just to hear the sound of a human voice, “not a doctor like Dad. What do I do?”

As if to answer her, the woman let out a groan, and Erin flinched back, wishing for a weapon she could use for close combat; before she could go find one though, the woman opened her eyes, and one look at them was enough to tell Erin that she didn’t have much to fear.

The other woman’s gaze was oddly unfocused, and glazed over, and even though Erin was no physician, she could tell that the woman was feverish; she reached out, only to recoil at the heat she felt from the woman’s forehead before she even touched her, swallowing heavily as she realized that, should this person die in her house, she’d come back as one of those things, and the last thing Erin needed was to have one of them in her house.

If she had been more ruthless, and not as kind-hearted as she was, Erin might have dragged the woman back outside at this point, to let her die somewhere out there on the sidewalk; as it was though, she knew she couldn’t do that, wringing her hands as she tried to figure out what to do now.

“Um, hello”, she said, quite sure that the woman wasn’t aware enough to understand her, but figuring that it might not hurt to reassure her she meant no harm, “I, um, I’ll try to help you, okay? I hope I won’t make it worse. I’ll have to get that arrow out of your leg, but I’ll try to be quick, okay? I’ll be right back.”

She gave the woman another uneasy look, still not sure how much of her words actually had been understood; knowing though that she had no way to find out, Erin shrugged this off for now, then went to her father’s study to retrieve his doctor’s bag, glad that he always had kept this bag with basic supplies in his office.

Quickly, she returned to the hallway, alarmed when she saw that the woman had passed out again during the short time she had been gone; trying to calm her racing heart, telling herself she could do this, Erin opened the bag and grabbed the scissors first, using them to carefully cut the woman’s pant leg open so she could get at the wound.

As she cut through the fabric, she wondered where the woman’s fever was coming from, if it was an illness or if she had an infected wound somewhere else; and just as she had the second thought, the pants leg fell open and exposed the source of the infection, Erin’s stomach turning at the sight.

It was a long, deep gash, running from the woman’s ankle almost all the way up to her knee; the wound smelled bad, and Erin didn’t need to be a physician to be able to tell that it was infected, the physicist feeling a bit relieved though when she at least couldn’t spot the tell-tale red lines of sepsis on the other woman’s leg.

Taking in a deep breath, she made sure that her stomach had settled before she continued cutting, until the woman’s thigh was exposed as well, the arrow still protruding from it; there hadn’t been much blood, but Erin knew that this would change quickly, taking another deep breath as she put the scissors aside, then found a scalpel in her father’s bag.

She allowed herself a few more deep breaths, knowing her hands had to be steady for this; and then, she began to cut, working quickly, but carefully, until the arrow could be removed without doing any further damage.

Practically at once, blood began to trickle from the wound, and Erin hurriedly grabbed a few clean pads of mull, pressing them onto the injury in an attempt to stop the bleeding, the flow, to her relief, soon lessening, then stopping completely.

“Hope you won’t mind having uneven stitches”, Erin mumbled to herself as she found a needle and suture and in the bag; as if in reply, the woman let out a groan, and Erin looked up at her face to meet her still feverish eyes, feeling dismayed – this would be difficult enough without having the blonde awake, but perhaps not aware enough to realize what Erin was doing and why she was doing it, and the last thing Erin needed in this moment was for the woman to start thrashing around or maybe try to kick her.

The blonde let out another groan in reply, then her head slumped back down as she passed out once more; taking the chance given by this, Erin quickly went to work, stitching up the wound, then disinfecting it, doing the same to the gash lower on the woman’s leg afterwards, wondering how she had gotten that injury as she covered both wounds with bandages.

Once she had taken care of the wounds, Erin carefully lifted the blonde up by grasping her beneath the armpits, then pulled her into the living room; trying not to jostle her hurt leg around too much, Erin then got the blonde up onto the couch, letting out a heavy breath once the woman was lying flat on her back, her breathing slow and calm, making her wonder if she was asleep or out cold.

Knowing she had to take care of the infection, Erin left her alone for a minute, moving back to her father’s study; when this whole mess had started, he had stocked up on antibiotics and penicillin, even though neither of these things helped against what made humans into shambling, always hungry things, and Erin was glad about it now, grabbing one of the small brown penicillin bottles and a syringe before she hurried back to the living room.

She took a moment to clean a spot on the woman’s arm with a cotton pad and rubbing alcohol, then injected her with a healthy dose of the penicillin; hoping she was indeed helping and not making it worse, she then sat back on the floor and watched the blonde sleep for a while, then got up to find some food for herself, hungry after all the excitement, simultaneously worried about this new person she had in her house now and glad that, at least for a while, she wouldn’t be alone anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

Making use of her father’s collection of books on medicine, Erin read up on how much penicillin she was supposed to give the blonde to make it better, and for the next three days, she did exactly as the books had advised; whenever the woman was awake enough to eat or drink, Erin fed her water and cold, canned soup, always hoping that she was helping and not would end up killing the woman on accident.

Then, on the third day of what had slowly started to become routine, the blonde’s fever broke, and her eyes were clear for the first time since Erin had taken her to the house, her gaze curious, but not frightened when it met Erin’s as the redhead was changing her bandages yet again.

“Um, hello”, Erin was the first to say something, feeling a bit nervous – she hadn’t exactly been a social butterfly before the whole world had gone to hell, and now, after weeks she had spent alone in this house, “how are you feeling?”

“Better? I think?” the blonde replied, looking around in confusion; she had woken up several times a day the past three days, but never had seemed all too aware of where she was and what was going on, an impression which now got strengthened as she gave Erin another confused look.

“Not to be rude”, she then said, making the redhead smile weakly, “but… who are you? And where am I?”

“Erin”, Erin told her, not offering a handshake since she hadn’t quite finished the second bandage yet, “and this is my house. I, um, I ran into you, outside the store, when I went to get water. Actually, I… kind of shot you. With my bow. I’m sorry, I thought you’re one of… them.”

“You shot me”, the blonde repeated, “with a bow? How… medieval of you. Um, thanks for taking care of me? Unless you want to shoot me again?”

“No”, Erin quickly told her, shaking her head for emphasis and finishing with the bandage, “I told you, I thought you’re one of… you know, them. So I figured I’d shoot you in the leg and run away. I’m sorry.”

“Guess I’m lucky you didn’t aim for my head”, the woman gave back, making Erin smile a bit again; then, the blonde apparently remembered that she hadn’t introduced herself yet, and quickly continued, before Erin had the chance to say something.

“I’m Holtzmann, by the way”, she said, prompting Erin to raise an eyebrow, “well, Dr Jillian Holtzmann, but everyone calls me Holtzmann or Holtz. Or everyone did, before all of this shit happened.”

“Doctor?” Erin repeated, curious now, “I imagine you’re not a physician or you would have taken care of that other wound you had. Doctor of what?”

“Nuclear engineering”, the blonde let her know, earning an impressed look, “not that this does me much good right now though.”

“Same”, Erin told her with a small sigh, “I’m a doctor of particle physics. I somewhat regretted that I never gave in to my father’s suggestions about following his footsteps when I had to take care of your injury.”

“Not everyone would have done that, you know”, Holtzmann replied, with a wry smile, “so… thank you.”

“Well, it was me who hurt you in the first place”, Erin pointed out, feeling a bit uncomfortable at how the blonde steadily held her gaze, “so it was the least I could do. I’m glad your fever broke, for a while, I wasn’t sure if I’m actually helping or making it worse.”

She let out a nervous burst of laughter, then realized how awkward this had sounded and forced herself to shut up, blushing; if Holtzmann thought she was a giant dork now though, the engineer kept it to herself, only giving her a smile which was more on the kind side and not contemptuous amusement, and after a moment, Erin smiled back, suddenly oddly glad to have company, and even though she wasn’t sure yet if she really could trust this person, she felt that she could, somehow, not sure what this meant, but for the moment deciding not to question it.

* * *

Even though the fever was gone, Holtzmann was still weak, and not long after the short conversation she’d had with Erin, she was fast asleep again; and as she slumbered, Erin sat in the armchair her father had used so often before this whole mess, for the first time in days reading a book which was not about medicine, glancing at the sleeping woman every now and again as she turned the pages.

Her face had been flushed the past few days, but now the skin was pale; Erin figured that this was a good thing though, as it meant that the fever which had put the flush in the blonde’s cheeks was gone, and certainly, she’d regain a healthier colour soon, once her body had dealt with the last few remains of the infection.

She checked her watch for when she’d have to give Holtzmann the next dose of penicillin, then glanced towards the kitchen, knowing that her water bottles were running low again – having supplied Holtzmann with water had drained her reserves faster than planned, and she grimaced when she realized that she’d have to venture out again all too soon to get more.

_Maybe I can make it last until Holtzmann is fit enough to walk with me,_ she thought to herself, _then the two of us can carry more and it’ll last longer._

That thought made her smile for about a second, then she realized that she had no idea if Holtzmann would actually stick around once she’d be well enough to travel or if she’d leave and head on to wherever she had been walking when Erin had mistaken her for one of the things and had shot her.

_Where was she even going,_ Erin pondered, not sure if she could just ask the blonde that; and even though she’d only had Holtzmann at her home for a few days, and only had exchanged a few sentences with her, the thought of the blonde leaving made her heart clench up.

Up until the moment she’d had an actual conversation with the other woman, Erin had thought that she could handle living like this; now though, she had to fully realize how lonely she had been, how miserable her life had been ever since this whole mess had begun, and the thought of Holtzmann leaving forced her to face this in a way she’d never had to before, the physicist not even noticing how she lowered her book and stared into nothingness as these unpleasant thoughts ran through her mind.

“Hey”, Holtzmann’s voice tore her out her musings, making her flinch before she looked at the blonde somewhat guiltily, as if Holtzmann could read all her thoughts on her mind and would judge her for them, “you okay?”

“…fine”, Erin lied, something she was good at, having done it a thousand times to her parents during her teenage years and even through part of her adulthood, “how are you feeling? Thirsty or hungry?”

“Both”, Holtzmann admitted, making Erin smile at her before she told her she’d be right back; and as she made her way to the kitchen, Erin forced those dark thoughts out of her mind, telling herself that she could worry about these things later and that for now, Holtzmann was in no state to go anywhere anyway, so she might as well enjoy the unexpected company while it lasted.


	4. Chapter 4

For the next few days, Holtzmann kept getting better and better, Erin aiding her recovery with more penicillin and food and water; the wounds were healing well, even she with her lack of knowledge about medicine could tell, and the one at the engineer’s calf had lost the bright red look of infection, healing just as well as the one Erin had inflicted on her.

“I think soon, you can walk around again”, Erin told her as she changed the bandages on the morning of the fourth day, “they’re healing really well.”

“All thanks to your expert care”, Holtzmann replied with a smile Erin could only describe as cheeky and perhaps a bit flirty; she felt her cheeks heat up, smiled back though, by now not even surprised anymore when Holtzmann smiled at her like that or made some sort of flirty remark.

She wondered, sometimes, if this was just something the blonde did, or had done, with everyone, before the whole continent or perhaps the whole world had gone to Hell, or if it had something to do with her as a person; she wasn’t quite used to being flirted with, had been socially awkward and not the type to party the night away even before the catastrophe, and she never had seen herself as more than average when it came to beauty, finding it a bit difficult to believe that Holtzmann would flirt with her in earnest.

_Well, it’s not like she can be picky,_ she thought to herself a while later, when the engineer had drifted off into sleep again, her body still needing more rest than on a regular day to regain the strength the infection had sapped from her bones, _with so many people turned into these things._

It was too bad, she thought to herself, that she couldn’t just ask Holtzmann if the flirting was serious, or if the blonde just wanted to get laid and would lose interest after they’d slept together; before the catastrophe, the thought of another woman flirting with her would have most likely made her panic, but as it was, Erin figured that there were other things to worry about than who slept with whom, and for the first time since she had realized she wasn’t perfectly straight three decades ago, she not only acknowledged that she was bisexual, but was somewhat willing to act on it, as well.

Perhaps, she thought to herself, the fact that her parents weren’t around anymore helped with that, as well; they always had been conservative, and her father had been a bit of a patriarch, with quite firm ideas about how women in general and his daughter in particular should be acting, and sleeping with other women certainly hadn’t been part of these ideas.

_Well, he’s gone,_ she thought to herself as she watched Holtzmann sleep, the book in her hands forgotten, _so it doesn’t matter anymore what he would have thought of this. And who knows when either of us will have another chance to… do something like this._

This made her think of Holtzmann leaving again, now that she was getting better, and she almost grimaced, feeling dismayed; she got so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice how the engineer’s breathing changed, and flinched visibly when Holtzmann’s voice interrupted her musings.

“I hope you’re staring at me because I’m so handsome and not because I’m a pain in your butt”, the blonde said, and Erin felt guilty at having been caught; she felt her cheeks heat up and cleared her throat, but thankfully, Holtzmann apparently didn’t expect her to say anything, just winking at her before she sat up on the couch.

“Man”, she said, stretching, glad when the movement didn’t send a pang of pain through her leg, “am I glad when I can get up and move around again. I think I’ve made a permanent dent into this couch.”

“The nearest store isn’t that far”, Erin told her, “I was just leaving from there when I saw you. Maybe we can make a trip there tomorrow, see how you can handle it?”

“Sounds like a plan”, Holtzmann smiled, Erin smiling back at her; then, the physicist let the blonde know that she’d go find them something to eat for dinner, and as she made her way to the kitchen, she realized that this would be the first night Holtzmann would be awake, and wondered if having company would make it easier to bear.

The nights still had been bad, even with Holtzmann in the house; as she had sat there in the dark, with the engineer slumbering on the couch, Erin had found herself imagining all kinds of horrible scenarios, thinking of the things getting into the house somehow and killing them both, or biting one of them, so the other would be forced to… take care of her before the bite could turn into the sickness which would make her one of the things.

She held back a sigh as she emptied two cans of beans and bacon into bowls she had readied, giving her best to push these thoughts out of her mind; she added a spoon to each bowl, then returned to the living room, giving Holtzmann an apologetic look as she handed one of the bowls to her.

“Sorry it’s cold”, she said, sitting down in the comfortable armchair again, “but the oven doesn’t work without electricity, and I don’t dare to make a fire. It might attract them, and if it doesn’t, there’s still the danger that I’ll burn the house down.”

“Cold food is fine”, Holtzmann reassured her, “I’m just glad I get to eat like a normal person again, so… I dimly remember you feeding me soup, thanks for that.”

“No problem”, Erin smiled back at her, cursing herself when she felt her cheeks heat up again, and pondering how even a kind of apocalypse didn’t do anything about her tendency to blush, “but I’m glad you can eat on your own, too, because there’s not much soup left, and I didn’t like the thought of leaving you alone here in that state to get more, when you were still feverish.”

“I’m kinda lucky it was you who shot me”, Holtzmann told her, smiling as well, “anyone else just would have left me out there to die.”

Erin just nodded, not admitting that she almost had done this, as well; she figured that Holtzmann was aware of this even without her saying it out loud, telling herself that anyone at least would have considered it… but, if Holtzmann had thoughts about this, she had no chance to voice them, as the last bit of daylight had faded away outside, a loud groan breaking the not uncomfortable silence which had formed between the two women.

“Always more active in the dark”, Erin mumbled to herself, putting her food aside and moving to the window to peer outside; Holtzmann watched her from the couch, not very alarmed at first, figuring that they’d be safe in the house… until she saw how Erin’s eyes got wide, her hand coming up to cover her mouth while all colour drained from her face.

“Erin?” she half said, half whispered, aware that too much noise might gain their attention; Erin didn’t react the slightest though, and after half a minute of the physicist just staring in silence, Holtzmann got up and made her way to where the other woman was standing, walking with a bit of a limp, but with much less pain than she had expected.

“What is it”, she whispered, then peered outside and saw what exactly had stunned Erin into silence; and she felt as if all breath had left her lungs, as well, as she just could stand there and watch.

Outside, they kept shuffling past, and there were _so many_ of them, Holtzmann guessed that at least four dozen were moving past; next to her, Erin let out an oddly wheezy breath, and Holtzmann’s blood ran cold when she realized that this would have been a scream, had Erin managed to get enough air into her lungs.

“No”, she whispered, grabbing the physicist’s arm, “don’t. They just walk past, they don’t know we are here.”

As if on cue, one of them stopped, and slowly, laboriously, turned towards the house; it was hard to tell what it had been before the sickness, man or woman, the clothes torn to dirty shreds, a lot of the skin and flesh having rotted away, the skin so tight and dry over the skull that it was almost translucent, erasing any defining features the thing might have had before the sickness had claimed it.

The eyes were still there though, glassy, but horribly _alive_ , and Erin could have sworn her gaze met the thing’s; and then, the thing groaned, and others began to turn, too, and the physicist felt like screaming again, all breath leaving her lungs once more as at least six of them slowly began to shuffle towards the house.


	5. Chapter 5

“Weapon”, Erin brought out in a thin, breathless voice after a few more seconds had ticked by in silence, seconds during which the things had moved closer to the house, “we need… my father, he has…”

“Erin, breathe”, Holtzmann whispered, reaching out without thinking to rub her back, “yes, we need weapons, just in case. You have some in the house? Apart from your bow?”

The tender circles she kept rubbing on Erin’s back as she spoke seemed to soothe the redhead somewhat, and she nodded after a moment; she took in a deep breath, then wordlessly led the way, moving as quietly as possible, something Holtzmann had quite a bit of more trouble with thanks to her limp, the redhead forced to bite back another cry when she heard one of the things outside bump into the wall.

She thought of the front door, of the fact that it was just wood and not all too thick… then she thought of the glass windows, and her blood ran cold again.

She heard a low thump as one of the things hit against the wall, and had to bite her lip to keep herself from crying out; as long as they hit the walls and not the door or windows, she told herself, they were safe, the walls were made of stone and even if they drummed against them all night, Erin doubted that they would manage to break through.

“Let’s hope they are too stupid to figure out that the door or windows would break easier”, she whispered to Holtzmann, who nodded her agreement; then, they reached her father’s study, where his collection of weapons was still displayed, Holtzmann raising an eyebrow at the various swords and crossbows and bows.

“Okay, wow”, the engineer whispered, remembering to keep her voice down despite her sudden excitement – she had never been a weapon nut, far from it, but she _was_ an engineer, and how things like crossbows worked was as interesting to her as any modern day machine, “he really was into that, huh?”

Erin nodded, grateful for the bit of distraction this provided; she quickly found more arrows for herself, dismayed as this forced her to think about the fact that the supply of those wasn’t endless, while Holtzmann looked around, then chose a crossbow and the bolts which were used for it, figuring that this was her best chance, what with her having no real idea about how to fight with a sword, apart from “stick ‘em with the pointy end”. Not to mention that she’d have to get uncomfortably close to the things to actually use a sword, and she wasn’t all too keen on doing so.

There was another low thump as the one which was attacking the wall hit it again, and Erin flinched; eager to calm her down, not wanting to freak her out, Holtzmann placed one hand on her back and rubbed it soothingly, Erin giving her a grateful look before she took in a deep breath.

“Okay”, she then whispered, “we should head back, make sure they really aren’t getting in… Maybe we’ll be lucky and—”

The sound of breaking glass interrupted her, and she nearly screamed out loud; and then, she heard one of the things groan, and it was louder than it had been before, making it quite clear that one of the windows had been taken out, her heart suddenly up in her throat as she tried to figure out what they should do, if they should stay and fight or if they should run.

Then, she realized that it was in the middle of the night, and that running at this time would be suicide; the things were stronger then, faster and hungrier, and with Holtzmann’s limp, there was no way to outrun them – apart from the fact, Erin sourly thought to herself, that Holtzmann and she herself didn’t have endless stamina, while so far, she never had noticed that the things were actually getting tired at some point.

“We can’t run”, she whispered to the blonde, who looked nervous, but not as close to freaking out as Erin herself was feeling, “they’re worse at night, they’ll get us… We have to try and fight them off until morning.”

Holtzmann nodded, her grip on the crossbow tightening a bit; she was grateful for her trained eye, which pretty quickly let her figure out she had to load and wind it, and quickly, she put one of the bolts into the mechanism, Erin looking impressed at how easily she had figured this out – before another groan came from somewhere near the front door, and reminded them of the danger in the house with them.

“Okay”, Erin whispered, trying to her best to sound steady and calm, and not as if her heart felt as if it was trying to burst out through her chest, “we can’t get too close, if one of them manages to bite us, that’s it. Aim for the head, the only way to kill them is to destroy the brain.”

For a moment, Holtzmann wondered how Erin knew so much about this – she herself had been on the road for quite a while when Erin had shot her with the bow, but she always had made sure to avoid the things while she had been walking, and so, didn’t have much experience when it came to fighting them; then, she figured that Erin maybe had fought them off before, and shrugged it off, simply nodding before she let the physicist lead the way once more.

Their eyes had gotten used to the dark, and so, they easily spotted the one which had gotten in through the window; when it had shattered the glass, it hadn’t been a clean break, glinting, sharp shards still stuck in the frame, and said shards had torn the thing open when it had crawled in, but clearly, it either knew no pain or didn’t care about it, Erin’s stomach turning as she saw the deep gashes the glass had torn into the thing’s stomach, and the black sludge which hung from the wounds, something which had been blood before the sickness had turned the person.

Steeling herself, Erin took in a deep breath as she nocked an arrow, then pulled it back, the fact that this time, she could be sure it was one of the things making it easier for her to aim for the head.

She took another deep breath, tried to remember everything her father had taught her about this as she took aim; then, she let the arrow fly, and felt a dark sense of satisfaction when it hit the thing in the head and it went down with a low grunt, twitching a few times before it laid still.

“Good shot”, Holtzmann whispered, impressed, “guess I got lucky you didn’t aim for my head when you ran into me, huh.”

Erin felt her cheeks heat up and shrugged, not sure what to reply to that; Holtzmann smiled at her, then another groan from near the window made them both flinch, the blonde raising her crossbow a second later, even though none of the things was in sight through the broken glass.

Instead, the one at the wall landed another hit, and Erin flinched, then let out a heavy breath, glad that, while the things were stronger and faster during the night, they apparently didn’t get smarter, and while one of them had found the window, the others clearly weren’t intelligent enough to follow that lead.

“We better not move too far from that window”, Erin mumbled, sitting down on the floor and leaning against the wall, “just in case.”

Holtzmann nodded her agreement, then sat next to her, briefly grimacing at the flash of pain this sent through her leg; outside, the things kept groaning and moaning, and the two women sat there in silence and listened to them, both of them knowing they had a long night ahead of them.


	6. Chapter 6

“I wish we still had electricity”, Erin groaned an hour after the sun had come up and the things had lost interest and had shuffled on, to the physicist’s great relief, “if only so I could make a cup of coffee. God, I’m so tired.”

“Well, you can get some sleep now”, Holtzmann suggested, earning a tired look from the redhead, “they are less active during the day, no? And I can keep watch, after how you took care of me the last few days, that’s the least I can do. Once you feel better, I’ll get some sleep.”

“Sounds like a plan”, Erin agreed, too tired to think much about this, and too tired to convince herself that Holtzmann should sleep first, with her injury not yet fully healed; the engineer smiled at her, and Erin managed a weak smile back, letting Holtzmann know that she’d take a nap, then, and earning a brief nod from the blonde.

Yawning, Erin made her way to the bedroom and, not even bothering to change her clothes, fell down onto the bed; and within not even half a minute, she was fast asleep, the pillow muffling her soft snoring enough that Holtzmann couldn’t hear it at the living room.

She slumbered deeply for almost two hours, so deep that she heard nothing of the noise Holtzmann made as the engineer found something to keep herself busy; and when she woke up again, she felt surprisingly good and refreshed, better than she had in weeks, wondering if this had been caused simply by sleeping or had been aided by the knowledge that she could sleep as deeply as she wanted, now that she had someone around to keep an eye out for the things.

“Holtzmann?” she called out as she left the bedroom, frowning to herself when there was no response; she had a brief, but horrible mental image of more of the things getting in through the broken window, and perhaps overwhelming Holtzmann before the engineer had the chance to cry out for help, then she heard thumping footsteps come up the stairs from the basement and tensed, relaxing again though when it was the younger woman who appeared in the doorway.

“Hey”, the engineer smiled at her, making her smile back almost automatically, “slept well?”

“Yes, thank you”, Erin gave back, curious what the blonde had been doing in the cellar; before she had the chance to ask though, Holtzmann gave her another bright smile, then grabbed her hand, unaware of the jolt she sent up Erin’s arm, all the way to her shoulder, at the contact.

“Come on”, the younger woman said, her enthusiasm prompting Erin to wonder what she was so excited about, “I have to show you something!”

“Okay?” Erin gave back, letting her lead the way; it surprised her a bit that Holtzmann took her to the bathroom, and she almost spoke up when the engineer stopped in front of the tub, to tell her that there had only been cold water ever since the world had gone to Hell, but before she had the chance to do so, Holtzmann had given the hot water tap a few turns, and water started to gush from the shower head, Erin’s eyes going wide when steam rose from it moments later.

“Oh my God!” Erin cried out, eyes going wide, “it’s warm! How did you… there hasn’t been warm water since all of this started!”

“It wasn’t difficult”, Holtzmann replied with a shrug, earning a disbelieving stare from the redhead, “I used the battery of the car in the garage to rig the water heater in the cellar. It might not be the most elegant solution to fix it, but hey, it works!”

In response, Erin just stared at her for a few more seconds – before she let out an adorable squeal and threw both arms around the smaller woman and hugged her tight, something Holtzmann clearly hadn’t been expecting, since it took her a few moments to react, but once she had gotten over her surprise, she quickly returned the hug, wondering if Erin could feel her heart race in her chest.

“Thank you!” Erin squeaked, sounding so overjoyed that it made Holtzmann’s heart swell up with pride and happiness, “I never would have thought I’d be so happy about warm water, but after weeks of showering cold… this is the best thing!”

“Well, go ahead then”, Holtzmann smirked, even though she could use a shower herself, “and nothing to thank me for, I’m glad I could be useful after how you’ve helped me.”

“I helped you after I hurt you in the first place, so…”, Erin said, trailing off uncertainly; Holtzmann just smiled, and shrugged, then gestured at the shower again, and that was all the incentive Erin really needed, suddenly feeling icky and grimy as she fully realized how long she had done just basic, quick washes with cold water and soap.

“Thank you”, she said again, earning a toothy smile from the blonde; then, giving her some privacy, Holtzmann left the bathroom, and Erin quickly undressed, then stepped into the tub, regulating the temperature until it was pleasant, a content sigh escaping her as the warm water ran down her body.

It was fascinating, she thought to herself, how warm water could be enough to make her feel so good; before all of this had happened, she had taken such things for granted, and only when they had been taken away, she had realized how much she had missed them.

_Guess it was really lucky I ran into Holtzmann like that,_ she thought to herself, smiling as she reached for the shower gel; and as she started washing herself down, she began humming to herself, feeling better than she had in weeks, all at once quite glad that she had shot the blonde and had ended up bringing her to her home.

* * *

“This”, Erin said quite a while later, hair still moist, but truly clean for the first time in weeks, “is the best soup I have ever eaten.”

“I agree”, Holtzmann gave back, between two spoons of soup; it was just lukewarm, the two having warmed it up by putting the cans into pots filled with hot water from the bathroom tap, but still it tasted better than the cold variant they had been eating for the past few days.

“Maybe I can fix up the oven, too”, the blonde continued, earning a hopeful look from Erin, “I need something to keep busy, anyway, until my leg’s all healed up.”

This made the physicist realize that Holtzmann had been on the road when they had met, and again, she found herself wondering if the blonde would leave her behind once her injury wasn’t making her limp anymore; clearly, the engineer picked up on how this thought made her mood shift, and smiled at her, eating another spoonful of soup before she spoke up again.

“You know”, she said, “maybe you could come with me? My mentor and I, we had been told of a sort of colony, and we were on the way there when I hurt my leg. We ended up getting separated during that, cause I couldn’t run quick enough anymore, but I’m pretty sure she continued on to there, and you could come there with me, too…”

She trailed off, and for a moment, Erin saw a flash of hurt in her eyes, probably at the fact that her mentor had left her behind when she had gotten hurt; she wondered what exactly had happened, but wasn’t sure it’d be wise to ask, and so, she kept the questions to herself.

“Well”, she said, instead of asking about details, “I wasn’t planning to go anywhere, but I guess I can’t hide away in here forever, huh? Sooner or later, I’ll have to move on, and it’d be safer if I do this with another person…”

Holtzmann beamed at her and nodded, and even though the thought of leaving made Erin’s chest tight with fear, she managed to smile back, telling herself that this would be the right thing to do, no matter how much it frightened her.


	7. Chapter 7

It took a few more days until Holtzmann could walk without a limp, and dared to test running; her leg started to hurt after jogging around the house for a while, but she figured that it would be bearable, reassuring Erin that it was fine when the physicist voiced some concerns about heading out already.

During the past days, Holtzmann had told her more about the colony, giving her enough information that she actually could believe it existed and didn’t think it was some sort of hallucination Holtzmann had dreamed up when she had been feverish from the infection.

It was supposed to be in Maine, close to the Canadian border; according to what Holtzmann’s mentor had been told, a whole bunch of survivors had holed up there, and they were always welcoming new people, Erin knowing that trying to get there would be more reasonable than holing up in the house for as long as it was possible, even though it would be much more dangerous.

The thought of leaving the relative safety of her home made Erin feel anxious and frightened, but she knew that sooner or later, she’d have to leave; the stores nearby wouldn’t have food and water forever, and once it all would be gone, she’d have no other choice, and going with Holtzmann certainly would be safer than heading out on her own.

“We’ll have to plan ahead, as far as it’s possible”, she said, once Holtzmann had gotten done jogging around the house and had deemed her leg well enough for travelling, “make sure we’ll always have a place for the night, you know they get more aggressive when it’s dark…”

Holtzmann nodded her agreement, and they started with making a list of what they would need; they both agreed it would make sense to travel lightly, and once they had compiled a short list of what they’d need, Erin went to her father’s study, knowing he’d owned a collection of American road maps, figuring it couldn’t hurt to take that with them.

Using the maps in the book, Erin and Holtzmann decided on a route, one which would bring them close to small cities and villages, but hopefully would not have them end up in one at night; they both knew that they would need to scavenge for supplies on the way, but spending the night in a city filled with the shuffling, hungry things was the last thing either of them wanted.

“If we want to get going tomorrow, we should get as much sleep as possible tonight”, Erin suggested once they had finished with the list and the route planning, “you sleep first, and then me? Four hours each?”

“Sounds like a plan”, Holtzmann nodded, making Erin smile slightly; once that this had been settled, the two had lukewarm beans with bacon for dinner, again warmed under running hot water, then Holtzmann went to sleep first, and as the blonde slumbered, Erin thought of their plans for the coming days and weeks, hoping that their travel would go as smoothly as it could go, under the circumstances – and that this colony did indeed exist, so they wouldn’t head out and get into danger for nothing.

* * *

Early in the next morning, just after sunrise, Erin and Holtzmann went through the supplies they had packed once more, just to make sure everything was there; having kept travelling light in mind, they only had packed up a few bottles of water each, some canned food, a few clothes and first-aid supplies, Erin opting to take a bow along while Holtzmann chose the crossbow, despite her comments on how a sword would make her look quite badass.

“Do you know how to use one?” Erin had wanted to know at this assessment, and Holtzmann had shrugged, then had said “Stick ‘em with the pointy end?”; this had made Erin laugh, and her laughter had earned her a toothy grin from Holtzmann, but in the end, they both had agreed that the crossbow would be a better choice.

“Plus”, Holtzmann said as she slung it onto her back, “it makes me look like some extra from a dystopian post-apocalyptic novel. Totally badass. And I think I can make more bolts, in case we run out. Arrows, too.”

“That would be good”, Erin nodded, making the blonde smile toothily at her again, “even though I hope we won’t get into so many fights that making more ammunition will be necessary.”

“Same”, Holtzmann agreed, “but one never knows. Think we’re ready to go?”

Erin looked at their supplies once more, then took in a deep breath and nodded; she cast a final look at the house in which she had spent so much of her childhood, then turned her back on it and walked down the driveway to the road, Holtzmann right next to her.

She felt nervous and worried, still not sure yet if this truly was the right thing to do; having the blonde at her side helped though, and she reminded herself again of the dwindling supplies nearby, telling herself that she had to go, and that finding the colony would certainly lead to a better, safer life for both Holtzmann and herself.

_Strength in numbers, and all that,_ she thought to herself, fighting the urge to turn back and look at the house once more, feeling a bit startled when Holtzmann spoke up next to her, her words making it seem as if she had read her mind.

“It’s a bit hard to walk away, huh”, she said, making Erin look at her in surprise; giving her a somewhat wry smile, Holtzmann shrugged, sounding a bit wistful as she went on, her words reminding Erin of the fact that she wasn’t the only one who had lost someone – and some things, like a safe home – when the outbreak had happened.

“My mentor and I were working at the lab when it reached Manhattan”, the blonde told her, “at first, we had no idea what was going on, this guy came stumbling into the lab, and Dr Gorin – that’s my mentor – started asking him what he thought he was doing, people weren’t supposed to just wander into that lab willy-nilly… and then he looked up, and we saw that his mouth was smeared with blood. I’m me, so I though it’s ketchup or jam at first, until he let out a sort of growl and made a grab for us. I brained him with the nearest pipe and we made a run for it.”

“Oh wow”, Erin gave back, glad that she never had had such a close run-in with one of the things, “that sounds really frightening. I’ve never gotten so close to any of them, but then, I was hiding away in my parents’ house the whole time since it started, so…”

Momentarily, Holtzmann wondered what had happened to Erin’s parents, but didn’t ask, figuring it couldn’t be something pleasant and that Erin would tell her at some point, when she was ready; and so, she just nodded, and managed a slight smile, Erin smiling back at her and briefly, but reassuringly touching her shoulder before they walked on, knowing they had a long way to go.


	8. Chapter 8

By the time they stopped walking for the day, Erin was glad, too tired from a day of walking to worry much about the fact that, during the night, the things got more active; they found a good spot for the night early enough, an hour before sunset, in an abandoned roadside diner, to which Holtzmann had picked the lock, impressing and delighting Erin with this skill.

She locked the door behind them again, then went to check out the diner’s kitchen while Erin made sure all the windows were locked; it dismayed her a bit that they had no way to block them, but they hadn’t seen any of the things in the past few hours, and only a few from afar during the day, so she figured that they’d be okay.

“The windows look good”, she called out, not sure where Holtzmann was exactly in the building, but figuring she couldn’t be far, the diner not having looked that big from the outside; she heard a vaguely agreeing noise from what she presumed was the kitchen, then Holtzmann poked her head through the doorway, excitement in her voice and features when she replied.

“Come here Erin”, she said, bouncing on the spot, making Erin smile with her enthusiasm, “you gotta check this out, this is beyond awesome!”

Curious, the physicist moved to join her; the moment she was close enough to let her do so, Holtzmann grabbed her hand, then led her through the kitchen to the far back, pulling the heavy stainless steel there open with a happy “Ta-daa!”, Erin’s breath becoming visible in front of her face as a whoosh of cold air came from the room behind the door.

Belatedly, she realized what the room was, and what the cold air meant, eyes going wide as she turned to look at Holtzmann.

“Yup”, Holtzmann answered her unasked question, “they must have a working genny somewhere in this building, or some other source of energy. Walk-in freezer is still working, and there are hamburger patties! Dozens of them! And buns and pickles and, oh my God, I’m going to make us the best burgers you have ever tasted.”

“I’ll help”, Erin offered, getting excited as well, the mere thought of a burger after weeks of canned food making her mouth water; to her surprise, Holtzmann shook her head, then gave her another bright smile as she told her that she’d take care of everything and that Erin should just sit down and relax.

The physicist felt a bit bad at letting Holtzmann do all the work, but before she had the chance to protest, the engineer practically pushed her out of the kitchen, and she shrugged it off, moving to one of the booths and sitting down there, a content sigh escaping her as she put her feet up, took the pressure off the soles.

From the kitchen, she heard Holtzmann rummage around, then the sound of the oven being fired up; she wondered if the diner really had a working generator, or perhaps solar panels up on the roof, then decided not to question this bit of luck – the coming weeks of travelling would be difficult enough, so they should enjoy this little good fortune as long as it would last.

It didn’t take long until the smell of grilling meat reached her nostrils, and made her mouth water again; and not long after that, Holtzmann came out of the kitchen, carrying two plates with freshly made burgers on them, and Erin quickly sat up straight, licking her lips in anticipation.

“There we go”, Holtzmann beamed, Erin scooting over a bit so the blonde could sit next to her, “Holtzy burgers. With pickles and ketchup and mustard, cause there were no tomatoes and no salad, but better than nothing, huh?”

“Very much better than nothing”, Erin agreed, then took a big bite of the burger, not caring that it was still quite hot; and after weeks of living on canned food, it tasted so good that she couldn’t help herself, but just had to let out a low moan, her eyes drifting shut almost automatically as the taste exploded in her mouth.

“So good”, she half said, half moaned, unaware of how hot she made Holtzmann feel with that tone, “this is so good, oh God, thank you for making this, I could kiss you.”

“W-well, you know”, Holtzmann gave back, with an audible stutter in her voice which would made have Erin backtrack, had the world still been normal, but only made her smile a bit now, “I, uh… you know, _Kiss the Cook_ was a popular apron slogan before all of this so if I had one of those… but if you wanna, you can, I like the idea, even if I have no apron and oh God please help me shut up.”

Erin gladly did so, leaning forward until her lips met Holtzmann’s; they both tasted of burger, but this only made the kiss better, and even though her heart was racing in her chest and part of her couldn’t believe that she was doing this, another, more rational part of her brain pointed out how different this was to kissing a man, how much softer Holtzmann’s lips were against her own and how the lack of scratchy beard stubble was a very pleasant sensation.

_And no grabby hands, either,_ Erin thought to herself as she pulled back, her palms sweaty and her heart still racing despite the kiss having remained fairly innocent, _actually, that was a really good kiss._

Holtzmann apparently had similar thoughts, since she was staring back at Erin with a wide grin on her face; and then, without another word necessary, they both moved in for another kiss, a much more passionate and heated one this time, a moan quite similar to the one the burger had caused coming from Erin when she moved one hand to entangle it in Holtzmann’s hair.

“I’m really glad I shot you”, Erin mumbled once they had pulled apart again, earning a low laugh from the engineer; she smiled back somewhat sheepishly, then kissed her again, the food for the moment forgotten as all she could focus on was how good and right this felt.

* * *

 

Quite a while later, Erin and Holtzmann sat in the dark together, not having dared to turn on any sort of light, worried that they might end up attracting some of the things despite not having seen any for half the day; Erin didn’t mind sitting in the dark as much though as she had when she still had been alone, especially not the way they sat now, in one of the booths, Holtzmann half sitting, half lying on the red leather bench, and Erin having settled down between the blonde’s spread legs, her back resting against Holtzmann’s front, the engineer having wrapped both arms around her.

Neither of them spoke, aware that the sound of their voices might attract the things in the dark as much as light would; no words were needed though, either, Erin feeling perfectly comfortable just sitting there in silence, and from how relaxed Holtzmann was behind her, the blonde clearly felt similar or exactly the same, her hands steady and calm were they rested on the physicist’s stomach.

“Get some rest”, Holtzmann whispered into her ear, making her shiver afterwards by gently kissing the sensitive skin right beneath her earlobe, “I’ll wake you in four hours.”

Erin nodded, then allowed herself to relax further into Holtzmann’s embrace; she felt the blonde’s slow, calm breaths at the back of her neck, and a short while later, she was fast asleep, sleeping better in Holtzmann’s tender embrace than she had all those weeks she had been on her own.


	9. Chapter 9

To Erin’s and Holtzmann’s relief, no things came shuffling up to the diner during the night; while Holtzmann was sleeping and Erin was keeping watch, she heard them groan in the distance once, but it was soft and far away, and the sounds didn’t come any closer.

After her four hours of sleep, Holtzmann found instant coffee and powdered milk in the diner’s storage, and they had coffee for breakfast; the same source of energy which had kept the walk-in freezer going also provided warm water, and so, they both washed at the sink, both women feeling relaxed and content by the time they got walking again, their backpacks bulging with bottles of water and canned food they had taken from the diner’s storage.

“Good thing we found this place”, Erin said as they walked away, earning a bright smile and a nod from the engineer, “but we probably won’t be so lucky every day.”

“Probably not”, Holtzmann had to agree, “but if we stick to the highways as much as possible, we might be lucky more often than not. And that might mean less zombies, too, while my mentor and I were on the road, they seemed to be focusing on the cities.”

Erin nodded her agreement, smiling when she felt Holtzmann’s hand take tender hold of hers; there had been more kisses since she had woken the blonde, and it still felt as good and right to kiss her as it had the previous evening, when she had done it for the first time.

“You know”, she said, making sure to not speak too loudly, just in case, and making Holtzmann look at her questioningly, “I was quite scared when we left yesterday, but now I’m glad I went with you.”

“It’d be strange if you weren’t scared”, Holtzmann told her, earning a weak smile from her, “and I’m really glad you went with me, too.”

She squeezed her hand, and Erin felt a pleasant shiver run up and down her spine in response; she stopped walking and pulled Holtzmann close for another kiss, a slow and gentle one, only to freeze the moment they had pulled apart again – as she heard an audible groan from one of the cars nearby, the way Holtzmann went stiff telling her that the blonde had heard it, too.

No words were needed as they both readied their weapons, Erin nocking an arrow – and once more feeling absurdly like an extra in some fantasy novel – while Holtzmann got the crossbow ready; the click with which she readied the bolt was awfully loud, and perhaps in reaction, another groan came up, allowing them to figure out from which car exactly the noise was coming.

Holtzmann approached first, slowly, cautiously, only the way her knuckles were whitening showed how nervous she was; anyone else might have missed it, but Erin noticed, and felt oddly relieved, glad that she wasn’t alone with her fear.

But then, she mused, on the other hand, not showing any fear in a situation like this one would have been quite strange, and might have caused her to question Holtzmann’s sanity, something she didn’t have a particular fancy for.

Another groan distracted her from those musings, and she fought the urge to pull the arrow back already, knowing it would be foolish to do so, when she didn’t know when she’d have to let it fly – each second she had to keep the string pulled would sap her strength after all, and if she held the arrow in position for too long, it might end up barely making a dent once she’d finally let it fly.

Still she was ready to pull the arrow back within the blink of an eye as Holtzmann and she approached the car; a third groan made it obvious that they were going for the right vehicle, and Erin barely noticed how she held her breath as the person making the noise came into view.

It was a man in a tattered-looking police uniform, even though the car he was lying in didn’t look like a police car; he was hanging in the driver’s seat, and the smell which rose from him made both Erin and Holtzmann gag.

“What should we do”, Holtzmann whispered, giving Erin a nervous look, “finish him off? Or just leave him there?”

“He might attract others if we just leave him”, Erin told her, the engineer grimacing as she had to admit that this was a good point, “but I don’t think he noticed us yet, so if we move quickly…”

As if to contradict the assessment that he hadn’t noticed them yet, the cop raised his head, his groan sounding decidedly more aggressive, and Erin wanted to curse herself for jinxing it like that.

“Oh shoot”, she just had time to say, then the cop somewhat surprised her by taking in a deep gulp of air – she never had noticed them to actually breathe before – and then the cop vomited at them, and she heard Holtzmann cry out in disgust when a few spatters of the vomit landed on her pants and sweater.

Even when her cry of disgust turned into one of pain, and she saw the asphalt bubble and melt where the vomit had hit it, it took Erin a few moments to realize what was happening.

Once she did figure it out though, she reacted quickly; all scruples about aiming for head or chest were forgotten once more as she pulled the arrow back, gave her best to, for the moment, ignore Holtzmann’s frantic movements as the blonde tore off her pants and sweater, and aimed, letting out the breath she had been holding the same moment she let the arrow fly.

He wasn’t far away, and her hand had been steady; and so, her aim was true, the arrow hitting him above the right eyebrow with a resounding _thunk_ , going in far enough to hit the brain and take him down, his eyes rolling back in his head as he slumped back into the seat.

Erin wasn’t sure if she could actually say that she had killed him, what with him having been pretty much dead already, but then, she thought to herself as she turned to look at Holtzmann, those semantics probably weren’t important right now – not with Holtzmann groaning in pain now, the sound making Erin’s heart skip a beat.

Thankfully, a closer look told the physicist, Holtzmann had managed to get the sweater and pants off before the acidic puke could have done too much damage to her skin; the engineer had gotten hurt by it though, part of her upper thigh looking as if she had been burned, Erin holding back a grimace when she saw that the acid had gotten to the stitches as well and had practically dissolved them, blood trickling from the arrow wound and staining the boxers she still was wearing.

“Come on”, she said, the undead cop forgotten as she shouldered her bow, then hurried to Holtzmann’s side, taking a moment to bend down and pick up the crossbow the engineer had dropped, “let’s find a safe place where we can take care of this.”

Holtzmann bravely bit back the tears of pain as she nodded, and Erin gave her a hopefully reassuring smile as she wrapped one arm around Holtzmann’s waist to support her, the blonde slinging one of her arms over her shoulders in response, leaning on her heavily as they continued walking, pain lancing through her leg with each step, her mind clouded both by pain and the worries about how much this would slow them down now.


	10. Chapter 10

They walked until they found an abandoned, small house, and even though it was barely past noon, Erin could easily tell that Holtzmann could go no further, and wouldn’t hear of it when the engineer tried to protest once Erin had suggested that they should stop in that house for the day.

“I need to re-do those stitches anyway”, the physicist told her, earning an unhappy look, but Holtzmann didn’t try to argue about that fact, all too aware that Erin was right, the wound having started to bleed again and again as they had been walking, “and once I did, you won’t be able to walk for the rest of today. Maybe we can continue tomorrow…”

Holtzmann looked as if she wanted to protest, but as she took another step, the pain in her leg became almost unbearable, and she could feel blood trickle down her thigh again, and so, she just nodded, realizing that Erin was right and that it made no sense to keep on going, unless she wanted to end up face-down on the road after fainting.

“I’ll pick the lock”, she mumbled, making Erin nod, the physicist quite relieved that Holtzmann had agreed after all; her relief only grew when she saw how Holtzmann’s hands trembled when she picked the lock, but despite the tremors, she managed to open the lock, the door creaking audibly when it swung open.

“Oh dear”, Erin commented at the noise, in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit, “that’s like the beginning of a horror movie.”

“We better not split up”, Holtzmann gave back, managing a slight smile despite her pain, “or have sex. The people who have sex always die first.”

Erin blushed brightly at those words, and cleared her throat; Holtzmann smiled and winked at her, then stepped aside and gestured at the doorway with a flourish, Erin still feeling her cheeks burn as she entered the house, scolding herself for reacting this way.

_Like a giggling teenager,_ she thought to herself as she looked around the hallway, and strained her ears for any sounds, not wanting to end up ambushed by one of those things which might be hiding somewhere in the small building; she couldn’t hear anything, but once Holtzmann was sitting on the living room couch and had taken her weight off her injured leg, Erin went to quickly check the house, glad when she found nothing but empty rooms.

Returning to the living room, Erin smiled at Holtzmann as she told her that the house was empty and safe; then, she put her backpack down and pulled out the first aid kit she had brought, glad that she had thought of adding needle and surgical thread, giving Holtzmann an apologetic look when she sat down next to her.

“I’ll have to re-do those stitches”, she said, earning a brief nod from the blonde, “and there are no painkillers, but I’ll try to do it quickly, okay?”

“Okay”, Holtzmann agreed, knowing she didn’t have much of a choice; Erin gave her a hopefully calming smile, but could sense at once that there was something on the blonde’s mind, an impression Holtzmann confirmed moments later as she cleared her throat nervously, then spoke on, her voice stilted now, showing how much this was worrying her, perhaps had been worrying her ever since it had happened.

“Do you think…”, she started, then had to swallow heavily before she could go on, “do you think getting that stuff on me… infected me?”

“I’m not sure”, Erin replied, running one hand through her hair as she knew she had to choose her next words carefully, “as far as I know, only getting bitten carries the… disease, but… I didn’t even know they can do that puke thing.”

“If I did get infected, I want you to promise me something”, Holtzmann said after thinking about this for a few moments; and even though Erin could imagine what the blonde would say now, she just nodded, prompting Holtzmann to go on after a few moments.

“If I… get turned…”, the engineer said, fidgeting nervously, sounding oddly stilted, “I want you to… take care of me. So I can’t hurt anyone. Okay?”

“Okay”, Erin gave back, even though the thought made her heart clench up; Holtzmann gave her a weak smile, and the physicist made herself smile back, clearing her throat afterwards as she gestured vaguely at the blonde’s leg.

“I better take care of this now though”, she said, making the engineer nod; Erin briefly touched her arm, then readied the needle and thread, the engineer watching her in apprehension, swallowing nervously once the physicist was ready.

“Ready?” Erin asked, and even though Holtzmann didn’t quite feel that way, she made herself nod; the physicist gave her a hopefully reassuring smile, then started with removing what was left of the old stitches and cleaning the wound, and that already hurt worse than Holtzmann had imaged, the blonde gritting her teeth tightly and struggling to hold back tears of pain.

Then, Erin started stitching the wound up again, and the pain got so bad that there was no way Holtzmann could hold the tears back; she bit her fist to keep herself from crying out, Erin looking at her with guilty dismay, but knew that she had to get this done, working as fast as she could, but making sure that the stitches still were done properly.

“Almost there”, she mumbled after what had seemed like hours already; Holtzmann let out a vaguely agreeing noise, feeling as if she was close to passing out by the time Erin finally did get done, something she would have welcomed, since it would have meant an end of the pain.

As quickly as possible, Erin bandaged the wound, making sure it was properly covered to keep any dirt from getting in; and then, she moved so she could embrace the engineer, pulling her close and making soothing noises, gently caressing Holtzmann’s hair as the blonde’s head had come to rest on her shoulder, her heart aching when she felt hot tears soak through her shirt.

“Shhhht”, she cooed, not sure if this was actually helping, but figuring it had to be better than nothing, “it’s all done and over, and it’ll stop hurting soon. I promise. I’m sorry it took so long…”

“S’okay”, Holtzmann mumbled into her shirt, sniffling a bit, but managing to get the flow of tears under control; Erin kept caressing her hair for a while longer, then kissed the top of her head before she advised her to get some rest.

“Can we snuggle?” the engineer wanted to know in a small voice, clearly still in dire need of comfort, “while I do that?”

“Sure”, Erin told her at once, moving a bit on the couch so she was more comfortable, Holtzmann ending up halfway on top of her; holding her close, the physicist rubbed her back, and kept doing so until the engineer’s slowing breaths showed that she was falling asleep, Erin lying awake beneath her, thinking about what Holtzmann had said about the thing’s vomit possibly infecting her, and wondering if she’d be able to keep her promise, should this turn out to be true.


	11. Chapter 11

For the rest of the day and the following night, Erin and Holtzmann took it easy in the small house, getting some much-needed rest; they didn’t dare make a fire, and so their supper was eaten cold from the cans they had brought again, a rather weak follow up to the burgers they had eaten at the diner, but both figured it was better to be safe than sorry.

After they had eaten, they snuggled on the couch some more, Erin mindful of the engineer’s injury; the last thing they needed now was that she’d bump into Holtzmann’s leg on accident and have the stitches open up _again_ , the physicist not wanting to make the engineer go through the pain of re-doing the stitches once more.

Clearly, doing so the first time had taken a lot out of Holtzmann, the engineer quiet and subdued the whole afternoon; and when the sun went down, it became necessary to be quiet, as neither of them knew if any of the things were nearby and might hear them, should they make too much noise.

Just like during the previous night, they slept in shifts, but this time, Erin insisted that Holtzmann would get five hours of sleep, reassuring her that she’d be fine with just three and that the engineer needed the rest; and while Holtzmann slept, Erin sat the window and looked outside, despite not being able to see much in the complete darkness.

She’d never realized how much the lights of the world brightened up the night, until those lights had gone out.

It wasn’t as bad anymore though as it had been, she pondered as she sat there in the dark, gaze moving to the couch every now and then, where Holtzmann was snoring quietly by now, to sit in the dark like this; after all, she thought to herself, she wasn’t alone anymore, and that made it so much easier, even if she was in unknown territory, on the way to an alleged safe place she wasn’t even sure she believed in.

Holtzmann let out a little grunt on the couch and turned, distracting Erin from her thoughts; she smiled briefly to herself, thinking of the kisses they had shared during the day, then looked out the window again, still not able to see much, but figuring she’d be able to spot the things, should they shuffle by, or at least hear them, since they seemed incapable of moving around without groaning and moaning.

The area around the house remained quiet though, to her relief; and it did so for the remaining hours Erin was on watch duty, the physicist looking forward to getting some sleep by the time the five hours were over and she woke up Holtzmann.

They traded places, the engineer moving to sit at the window while Erin laid down on the couch; and within moments, she was fast asleep, and slumbered deeply until the sun was up and Holtzmann woke her so they could continue their journey.

* * *

Erin could tell that Holtzmann was in pain after they had been walking for a few hours, despite their slower pace and the long, thick branch Holtzmann used as a makeshift cane; she didn’t suggest stopping though, partly because she knew Holtzmann would say no and partly because they were on a long, empty stretch of the highway, and just sitting out there in the open was not an option.

And so, they kept on walking, Erin with her arm around Holtzmann’s waist for support; she was somewhat glad that they had thought to pack a pair of extra pants each, since otherwise, Holtzmann would have had to walk around in her boxers, and even though the blonde was injured and bandaged, Erin wasn’t quite sure what walking next to her like that all day would have done to her.

“How’s your leg”, she broke the silence after a while, earning a shrug from the blonde, followed by a wry smile, her words making Erin feel bad for her, and only making her hope more that soon, they might find a place where they could rest.

“Hurting”, the engineer told her, with a slight grimace, “which shouldn’t come as a surprise. But at least the burns from that stupid acid look normal and not as if they might start doing anything freaky to my body so… That was so not my favourite acid.”

“You have a favourite acid?” Erin wanted to know, amused; Holtzmann grinned at her, pain for the moment forgotten, and nodded, making the physicist smile as well with her response.

“Yup, but it certainly wasn’t the one the cop puked at me”, the blonde said, Erin nodding her agreement, the two walking on in silence afterwards, the silence not uncomfortable though, something which was somewhat strange to Erin, as she never had experienced this before in her life, just being with someone without talking, and not have it feel weird or awkward.

“I’m really glad we met”, she blurted out after a few more minutes had ticked by and she had spent them thinking about how much she enjoyed just walking with Holtzmann like this, breaking the silence which had been so comfortable between them, “even if my first reaction was to shoot you.”

“I’m really glad we met, too”, Holtzmann told her, smiling and grasping her hand; feeling happy and good, Erin squeezed her hand, and didn’t let go of it afterwards, her happiness only increasing when Holtzmann didn’t pull back, either.

They kept walking hand in hand, until finally, a building appeared in the distance; for a few minutes, Erin allowed herself to hope that it was another diner, that they might have warm, proper food again that evening, feeling a pang of disappointment when they got closer and she saw that it was a gas station instead.

“Oh well”, Holtzmann said the same moment Erin realized there probably would be no burgers that night, “maybe they’ll at least have some yummy snacks left over.”

Nodding, the physicist squeezed her hand, then suggested staying in the building for the rest of the day; from the small pearls of sweat on Holtzmann’s brow and the way her limp was showing more again, she could tell that the pain was getting worse, and when Holtzmann nodded at once and didn’t try to point out that they still had hours of daylight left, it was only another indicator that her pain had to be quite bad at this point.

“Look”, Erin observed as they got closer to the building, frowning a bit, “the door’s open. Think someone got there before us?”

“We better be careful”, Holtzmann gave back, frowning as well; in response, Erin readied her bow, nocking an arrow and, without even realizing she was doing it, moving in front of Holtzmann, not wanting the engineer to get hurt again or have her stitches open up once more.

She slowed down a bit as she approached the open door, straining her ears in an attempt to find out if anyone was inside, a human – even though she doubted they just would have left the door open like that – or one or more of the things;  her heart was hammering in her chest and she could feel her palms get sweaty, but she remained in front of Holtzmann, not quite sure if she should call out as she stepped into the building.

Just when she decided that she wouldn’t, so she wouldn’t alert someone with possible malevolent intent towards them to their presence, she heard the low growl from her left.

Her heart leapt up to her throat, and she turned her head so fast she was surprised it didn’t make her neck crack; she tried to bring the bow up, but was too slow, the dog letting out another growl as it jumped from where it had been lying behind the counter.

Erin had a second to take note of the animal’s blood-shot eyes, the blood dried on its snout and unsettlingly sharp teeth, of the patches where the fur had rotted away to reveal just as rotting flesh beneath, and of the horribly bad smell which came from the dog – then it slammed into her, and its teeth snapped shut on her protectively raised forearm, her pained cry mixing with the shocked yelp Holtzmann let out behind her.


	12. Chapter 12

Once she got over her initial shock, which thankfully didn’t take long, Holtzmann reacted fast, and swung the branch she had used as a cane with all the strength she could put into it; she didn’t really aim, only trying to not hit Erin, but still managed to hit the dog right on the head, yelping again when its head caved in at once, showing how far the sickness already had progressed.

It still could let out a little whine, then it collapsed; quickly, Holtzmann grabbed the lifeless body, trying hard to ignore how unnaturally hot and squishy it felt beneath her hands, and pulled it off of Erin, the physicist clutching her injured arm to her chest and whimpering in pain, tears trickling down her cheeks while blood dripped from her arm.

“Oh no, oh jeez”, Holtzmann fretted, events catching up to her and making her heart race, “this is bad, shit!”

She wrung her hands for a few moments, then realized that they had to take care of Erin’s wound; giving her best to appear calm, not wanting to upset Erin more, Holtzmann knelt down next to her, grimacing at the twinge of pain this sent through her leg, but trying hard to ignore it.

“Let me get a look”, she said, taking tender hold of Erin’s uninjured arm, “Erin, I need to see how badly that dog got you, let me look…”

With tears of pain rolling down her cheeks, Erin allowed the engineer to get a good look at her arm; the skin and flesh beneath had been torn up by the dog’s sharp teeth, blood trickling from the wound, Holtzmann’s stomach turning at the sight, her blood running cold when she realized that she had no idea how to stitch up a wound, and wasn’t quite sure if an injury like that actually _could_ be stitched up.

“Disinfect”, Erin wheezed, the way her face paled rapidly showing that she was going into shock, Holtzmann only feeling more alarmed and worried at the sight, “we need to… oh God…”

Her breath quickened, and the engineer realized that Erin either was having a panic attack or was all too close to having one; and once she’d start hyperventilating, the engineer knew, it would only get more difficult to help her get her breathing under control again, and so, she quickly pulled the physicist into her arms, holding her so that Erin’s head ended up resting on her shoulder, once more giving her best to sound calming and reassuring as she replied.

“Erin, sweetheart, listen”, she said, rubbing the physicist’s upper arm, hoping this wouldn’t make her pain worse, “we can disinfect that in a minute, okay? First, I need you to… not pass out, alright? Can you do that for me? Stay awake for me? Try to breathe like me, okay?”

Even though she was close to freaking out herself, all sorts of unpleasant scenarios running through her mind, from Erin getting an infection and sepsis and dying in agony to gangrene spreading from wound and, the most unpleasant of all, Erin ending up infected by the bite, and turning into one of the things and attempting to bite her face off when she was asleep, Holtzmann gave her best to breathe slowly and calmly, and to her relief, it seemed to work, Erin struggling at first to adapt, then gradually managing to slow her own breaths down.

“Good, you’re doing great”, Holtzmann said encouragingly, moving her hand a bit so she could rub Erin’s back, “just perfect, sweetheart, keep going, you’re doing great.”

She kept rubbing soothing circles on the physicist’s back, until Erin’s breathing was back to normal; the redhead was still pale, but at least didn’t look like she would pass out any second anymore, and even managed a weak smile after another minute.

“Thank you”, she then said, wincing in pain afterwards, the fading shock only letting her feel the injury more, “but now we really should take care of that. There’s disinfectant in the first-aid kit in my backpack, and bandages…”

Holtzmann nodded, didn’t move though; before Erin could ask her though if something was wrong, she cleared her throat, suddenly finding it hard to look the physicist in the eye as she spoke up.

“Um… do you think”, she mumbled, her free hand coming up to tug at her ear, “that… you’re infected now? From that dog bite?”

“No, dogs can get infected, but their bite doesn’t pass it on to humans”, Erin replied at once, missing the look of surprise on Holtzmann’s face, and later, she’d blame it on the blood loss and shock that she had been so open, had spoken without thinking, “only a human can infect another human. It doesn’t work across the species.”

“How do you know?” Holtzmann wanted to know, and now Erin did pick up on her surprise, and her blood ran cold as she realized how much she just had given away, “you sound quite sure of that? Or are you just making that up to calm me down?”

“I’m a scientist”, Erin replied primly, simultaneously winning some time to come up with something, “or, at least I was, before all of this happened. I wouldn’t make anything up just to calm someone down, and especially not about this. My, um, my father was part of a research group when everything began, and that is one of the few things they found out before… it all went bad.”

“Oh wow”, Holtzmann gave back, the physicist relieved when it seemed as if the blonde was believing her without question – _and why shouldn’t she,_ Erin thought to herself somewhat bitterly, _you gave her no reason to not believe you_ , “well, I guess that is a good thing then, or we both would have been nervous about possible infection for days.”

Erin made herself smile and nodded, and Holtzmann smiled back at her; then, the engineer leaned in for a brief, but gentle kiss before she went to get the first-aid kit from Erin’s backpack, the physicist taking in a few deep breaths while the engineer knelt down next to her again and readied everything they’d need to take care of the wound.

“Give me something to bite on”, she said before Holtzmann could get to work, “this will hurt a lot, and if I end up screaming, I might attract some of those things.”

Realizing that this was a good point, Holtzmann nodded, momentarily not quite sure what to use; then, Erin gestured at her belt with her uninjured hand, and the engineer felt a flush creep up her cheeks when she opened it and pulled it out of the loops.

She had been thinking of opening Erin’s belt, even before they had kissed for the first time, but it certainly hadn’t been under such circumstances, and she felt bad that the first time she’d open the physicist’s belt was to practically gag her.

Telling herself that this had to be done, she folded the belt over, then handed it to Erin, the physicist pushing it between her teeth; once it sat firmly, Erin nodded, and Holtzmann took in a deep breath, steadying her hands for what she had to do before she carefully tilted the small bottle and let the disinfectant dribble over the wound.

Erin’s reaction was immediate and as bad as Holtzmann had feared – her head snapped back in her neck, and she bit down on the belt so hard that her jaw muscles stood out like cords beneath the skin, fresh tears trickling down her cheeks as she let out a drawn-out, but fortunately not all too loud groan.

Making soothing noises, Holtzmann worked as fast as she could, but still disinfecting the wound as thoroughly as possible; by the time she got done, Erin was pale again, and looked as if she might faint any moment, and once Holtzmann had covered the wound with a bandage, she removed the belt, then pulled the physicist into a tight embrace, rubbing her back and mumbling soothing words into her ear, until the soft sobbing and the flow of tears slowly stopped again.


	13. Chapter 13

For the rest of the day, the two women stayed at the gas station, neither of them in the mood or in the best state to keep on walking; Holtzmann went to the small shop part of the gas station and did find some snacks, nothing as good as the burgers she had made for them at the diner, but enough to fill their stomachs, and enough to make sure they wouldn’t have to eat cold canned soup again.

“How’s your arm”, Holtzmann asked once they each had polished off a couple of Slim Jim’s and were drinking warm ice tea – making her wonder if it was just regular tea now, “a bit better?”

“Yes”, Erin let her know, earning a smile from the blonde, “but we really have to find some painkillers, or I won’t be able to properly move my fingers for days. That damn dog really bit deep…”

“Once we got done eating, I’ll go look if they have something suitable somewhere around here”, Holtzmann offered, earning a grateful look and nod from the physicist, “if we can’t find anything, maybe we’ll find a pharmacy or something somewhere…”

“We’d have to get off the highway for that though”, Erin pointed out, making the engineer frown as she realized that Erin was right, “but perhaps we should take that risk, get some antibiotics too, just in case…”

Holtzmann cast another worried look at the physicist’s bandage arm as she nodded in response, once more worrying if perhaps, Erin had been infected now; the redhead had sounded quite sure when she had told Holtzmann that no infection could have happened, but still she found herself unable to stop worrying.

“It’s going to be fine”, Erin reassured her, having noticed the way she had looked at her arm and correctly guessing what the blonde was worrying about, “I promise. I’m not infected.”

“I hope so”, Holtzmann gave back, with another worried look, “cause… that would be really bad.”

She leaned in for a brief, but tender kiss, Erin giving her a hopefully reassuring smile afterwards; the engineer made herself smile back at her, then let her know that she’d go and see if she could find anything useful at the gas station, giving the physicist a strict look as she told her to stay right where she was.

“Yell if anything happens”, Erin said after a moment, during which she had realized that Holtzmann wouldn’t budge about this; the engineer reassured her she would, then went to search the gas station for whatever they might use on their journey, the physicist looking after her for a few moments before she glanced down at her arm again.

Bracing herself for the pain, she flexed her fingers, then made a fist, and nearly cried out at the flash of pain this sent through her arm all the way up to her shoulder; biting back tears, she let her hand relax again, all too aware that the pain would only be worse in the next day.

Leaning back against the wall behind her, she heard Holtzmann rummage around in the room behind the counter, figuring that the **Employees Only** sign on the door wasn’t really relevant anymore, flinching when she heard Holtzmann call out “woohoo!”, a rather loud sound she hadn’t quite expected.

“What is it?” she called out, figuring that it had been a good noise; Holtzmann came hurrying back to her side in response, Erin’s eyes going wide when she saw that the engineer was waving a gun around with one hand and held a box of ammunition in the other.

“No painkillers”, she then said, a bit regretful, “but I found this. Might be quite useful to have.”

“Indeed”, Erin had to agree; she never had been a big fan of guns, at least not before the world had gone to Hell, but with the dangerous and deadly things roaming the land, she figured that having a gun would be a good thing indeed.

“It might be loud though”, she added, worried again as the unpleasant consequences a fired shot might have flashed through her mind, “and that might attract more? Or some… unpleasant people we might want to avoid.”

“I’m an engineer”, Holtzmann reminded her, smirking, “nuclear engineer, true, but I’m pretty sure I can rig up a sort of silencer for this. Just in case we do need it, because I agree about how having it be loud might be bad.”

“Sounds good”, Erin smiled, oddly glad that she had shot an actual engineer and not, for example, an accountant, “just another reason I’m glad we met.”

“Aw!” Holtzmann let out dramatically, clutching at her chest and making Erin laugh with her antics, “you only want me for my engineering skills! I’m so hurt.”

“Your kissing skills were quite convincing, too”, Erin solemnly replied, earning a just as dramatic gasp from the blonde; then, they both started to giggle, feeling relaxed despite the mess the whole world was in, both of them suddenly sure that everything would turn out alright.

* * *

 

Quite a while later, night had come again, and Holtzmann was the first to get her four hours of rest that night; as the engineer slept, curled up on the floor and using her backpack as a pillow, snoring quietly, apparently not deterred by the hard floor or the fact that she had no blanket.

As the engineer slept, Erin sat at the window and kept watch, looking out into the darkness; every now and then, she flexed her fingers, despite how this made her injured arm hurt, and thought back to how scared and worried Holtzmann had been when the dog had bitten her, how afraid that Erin would end up becoming one of the things brainlessly shuffling about.

She thought back to how she had reassured Holtzmann that the bite hadn’t infected her, and of what she had said; and she wondered if she had said too much, if she had revealed too much.

_Well, Holtzmann didn’t act any different after you told her,_ she pondered as she looked out onto the dark highway, _so it should be good, I don’t think she suspects anything, she doesn’t seem like the type who’d pretend nothing is wrong when something worries her…_

She was all too aware that perhaps, she didn’t know Holtzmann well enough to make that sort of judgement about her character; holding back a sigh, not wanting to wake the blonde up, Erin briefly glanced at her, then looked out the window again, feeling bad for having held something back, but not daring to reveal everything, not until she’d have a vague idea how about how Holtzmann might react.


	14. Chapter 14

During the next few days, the two continued their journey to Maine, sticking mostly to the highway; that meant that they found no painkillers, but Erin found her pain bearable, and Holtzmann didn’t seem all too bothered by her leg, either, so they figured that they might as well play it safe and live with a bit of pain instead of risking running into a whole group of the things during their search for a pharmacy.

To Holtzmann’s relief, Erin apparently had been right when she had told her that the dog’s bite wouldn’t infect her; she showed no signs of infection, and the injury was healing well, looking nothing like the swollen, reddened mess the wound on her own leg had been when Erin had found her.

They spent the nights at gas stations, diners and motels, not having as much luck again as they’d had with the diner where the walk-in freezer still had been working, but finding enough food to keep them going; it perhaps wasn’t the healthiest diet, Erin thought to herself during another dinner consisting of cold soup, beef jerky and warm soda, but it’d keep them from starving, and give them the energy they’d need to keep on walking.

While Erin slept during the nights, Holtzmann kept busy by trying to figure out how to make a silencer for the gun they had found; it wasn’t quite as easy as she had thought it would be, but she was quite sure that sooner or later, she’d manage, and pondering how to get it done kept her busy during the nights when Erin was asleep.

“I’ve made several prototypes”, she let Erin know one morning, while they were having cold instant coffee, which didn’t taste all too great, but at least would help with getting them awake, the continuous nights with just four hours of sleep for each of them having an effect on them at this point, “it’s too bad we can’t really test one of them, cause if it doesn’t work, it’d be super loud. Or potentially dangerous. Or both.”

“Please don’t test any of those prototypes if there’s danger they might blow up in your hand”, Erin said, concerned now, “I don’t think I could stitch up that sort of injury.”

“No worries”, Holtzmann reassured her, earning a look of relief, “I’ll only use one of them once I can be reasonably sure it’s safe. I would have been much less reckless before… all of this, but, well, with no more possibility for immediate medical attention…”

“Better to be safe than sorry”, Erin solemnly replied, making the engineer smile and nod; she leaned in for a brief kiss, then asked Erin if she was ready to continue walking, making it the physicist’s turn to nod her agreement.

They kissed once more, then packed up their stuff and left their shelter for the night; somewhere on the road behind them, they could hear one of the things groan, but it sounded not too close to make them worry, and so, they decided to ignore it, not wanting to waste any ammunition on a single one of them which apparently wasn’t even aware they were there.

Holtzmann had said that she could probably make new arrows for Erin’s bow and bolts for the crossbows she herself was using, but even with that knowledge, Erin wasn’t all too keen on fighting the things up close; they had been human at some point, which didn’t make shooting them easy, and she was all too aware of the danger a simple scratch or the tiniest bite might bring.

So, they left the thing where it was, and started walking the opposite direction; to Erin’s relief, Holtzmann’s limp had vanished at this point, and she could flex her fingers again without having the healing injury in her arm hurt, even though she still felt a slight pull whenever she did so.

As they walked, Erin realized that she felt content and happy, had felt this way for a while; in fact, she realized as they kept on walking, she had felt like this ever since she had left her parents’ house with Holtzmann, despite how afraid she had been, and despite the dangers awaiting them on this journey.

Once again, she found herself wondering if this journey would have a happy ending, or if the place Holtzmann had been talking about was a mere fantasy, and they’d end up finding nothing at the border but disappointment and shattered hopes.

For the moment though, Erin pushed those thoughts aside, telling herself that the place might as well be real, that they couldn’t know; and even if it it’d turn out to be non-existent, at least, she told herself, neither of them would be alone, they’d have each other and would figure something out.

“Hey”, Holtzmann distracted her from these ponderings, the happy tone of her voice showing Erin that it wasn’t something unpleasant which had gained her attention, “look over there, a pharmacy! We can stock up on painkillers and stuff there.”

Erin nodded, finding herself smiling as well, once more fascinated by how what had happened had changed her view of the world – before everything had gone to Hell, she pondered as Holtzmann and she approached the building, a pharmacy had been nothing special, just like hot water and electricity, but now, such things had become oddly special, and the mere sight of the pharmacy up ahead made her feel oddly good and content.

“We better take as much as we can still fit in our bags”, she suggested, making the engineer nod, “painkillers, maybe antibiotics, bandages… Let’s hope no one has looted all the good stuff already.”

That hope got diminished a little when she saw that the lock of the building’s door had been forced, and with quite the force, too; Holtzmann clearly had noticed the same thing, since she reached for her crossbow, and that prompted Erin to take hold of her bow, the two exchanging a nervous glance before they moved closer to the building.

Holtzmann took the lead, clearly still thinking of what had happened at the gas station and not willing to let Erin get hurt again; and as she pushed the door open, she found herself experiencing an odd mixture of emotions, as she felt relieved and scared at the same time.

“Why don’t you put that crossbow down, lady”, the man aiming a shotgun at her said, smiling pleasantly, while she could only stare down the barrel, “so we can talk.”


	15. Chapter 15

“Dude”, another male voice piped up before Holtzmann had the chance to say or do something, “don’t do that. Lady, don’t take him seriously, he’s not gonna hurt you, but we would appreciate it if you put that crossbow down?”

The guy was younger than the one with the gun, Holtzmann registered despite her heart racing in her chest and her blood rushing in her ears; she slowly lowered the crossbow, feeling Erin’s presence right behind her, the physicist just as tense as she herself was, even though the engineer allowed herself to relax a bit when the younger man gave her a friendly smile.

“Mac”, he then said, with a glance at his older, armed companion, “put that gun down now dude, come on, they’re no threat.”

Slowly, the other guy lowered his gun, still looking at them suspiciously though; clearing her throat, Erin gave her best to look non-threatening and harmless, making sure to keep her own weapon low – and to hide her suspicions about these men, not quite willing to believe that they were as harmless as the younger one apparently wanted them to think.

“We’re just passing through”, she said, deciding not to reveal where they were going, “and were hoping to find some supplies here. But if this is your… place, we’ll just keep moving.”

“What do you need?” the younger of the two asked in response, smiling pleasantly, “come on, there’s so much stuff here, I’m sure we can give you some of it. Then you can be on your own way, if you want, but Mac managed to shoot a deer the other day and we were gonna have steaks, you’re welcome to stay and eat with us if you like.”

“That is very kind of you”, Erin replied, the feeling that something was wrong only growing as she took note of the way the elder of the two was looking at her, the way his eyes travelled over her body, as if he was appraising a piece of meat, “but I think we’ll have to decline, right, Holtz?”

“Yeah”, Holtzmann gave back, having noticed the way Mac had been staring at Erin as well, and how uncomfortable this was making the redhead – not that she could blame her, because it was making her skin crawl, “that’s very nice, like Erin said, but we’ll just get some stuff and then we’ll be on our way.”

“You should stay”, Mac said, and _something_ in his tone made Holtzmann tense up, “these days, people should stick together, you know. And it’s not safe for two women to travel alone. We can look out for you.”

“No thanks”, Erin replied, and Holtzmann could tell at once that she was trying to sound firm, but she could hear the tremble of discomfort, and wondered if the men heard it too – and if something would happen which would turn that tremble to one of fear soon, her own heart speeding up when she noticed how Mac’s hold on his gun tightened again.

“We’re just trying to be polite, Ladies”, the younger, still nameless man said, smiling, but something about his smile was off, enough to make Holtzmann’s heart speed up even further, “and I imagine we could all use some… company.”

He let his gaze travel over the engineer’s body, and next to her, Erin took a step back, the reaction causing the pleasant smile on the man’s face to turn into a somewhat malicious smirk, making both women glad that they still were fairly close to the door.

“You should stay”, Mac said again, and his grip on the gun tightened further; he started to lift the weapon again, and Holtzmann moved quickly, her hand going to her back in a flash of movement, and she was absurdly glad that she had shoved the gun there and hadn’t put it in her backpack when she pulled it out and aimed it at the man.

“We’re leaving”, she said, her discomfort only growing when Mac didn’t seem perturbed the slightest by having a gun aimed at him, like any normal person would have been; instead of looking worried or even frightened, he just smirked, mirroring the look on his companion’s face, clearly not taking her seriously.

“Don’t be like that”, the younger guy admonished, still smirking, as unperturbed as his buddy, “like my friend said, it’s dangerous to be all alone out there for ladies like you. We can look out for you, you know.”

“I think right now, it’s quite dangerous for us inside here”, Erin replied, glad that Holtzmann had gotten the gun out and was aiming it at one of the men, her grip on her own weapon tightening even though she wasn’t sure she’d have enough time actually pull back an arrow and shoot, should they decide to attack them, “come on Holtz, let’s go.”

“I don’t think so”, Mac said, the pleasant mask dropping as he raised the gun again, “put that gun down to the floor slowly, and then give it a good kick in my direction, will ya?”

“The Hell I will”, Holtzmann shot back, somewhat glad that she had managed to keep the tremble out of her voice, “you put down yours, or I’ll shoot.”

“You don’t have the guts”, Mac sneered, and she saw his finger tighten on the trigger, and before she realized she was actually doing it, she had fired, the shot deafeningly loud in the not all too big main area of the pharmacy, making her ears ring, but not so much that she wouldn’t hear Mac screaming in pain.

She had fired without truly taking time to aim, and certainly not with the intention to kill him; the bullet had hit him in the abdomen, and he screamed again as he clutched at the wound, blood seeping over his fingers and staining his already dirty shirt.

Feeling oddly numb at what she had done, Holtzmann barely registered how Erin grabbed her arm; the physicist was saying something, with a tone of urgency, but she couldn’t figure out what Erin was saying, letting it happen that the redhead pulled her along, out of the pharmacy, the younger man’s angry shouts following them.

“I’ll kill you!” his words registered where Erin’s hadn’t, “fucking bitch, I’ll kill you!”

“Run!” Erin shouted at her, still having a death grip on her arm; feeling strangely detached now, Holtzmann went onto some sort of autopilot as she ran with the physicist, not paying attention or caring where they actually were going, just eager to get away.

She heard the other man shout behind them, followed by the crack of another shot; there was no pain though, and Erin kept running, too, so she figured the physicist hadn’t been hurt, either, the sound of their feet on the road pounding in her ears along with the rush of her blood as she ran, the image of blood splashing from the wound she had caused with a simple movement of her finger playing over and over in her mind’s eye, and she wondered if she’d ever be able to forget it.


	16. Chapter 16

“You’re not hurt, are you?” Erin asked quite a while later, still breathing heavily from their headless run; to her relief, the man had given up on chasing them after a while, and probably had gone back to his buddy – not that Erin thought he had much of a chance to do anything, even if he’d happen to be a doctor, something the physicist doubted, judging from how both men had behaved.

“I killed him”, Holtzmann gave back, not acknowledging what Erin had said the slightest, “even if he wasn’t dead when we ran off, I killed him, he’s gonna die and it’s gonna be my fault and my fault alone and…”

Her breath quickened, and the small part of her mind which still could think rationally realized that she was close to hyperventilating; she couldn’t stop herself though, seeing the blood splash over and over, and heard the man scream, and suddenly her stomach clenched painfully and bile rose in her throat.

Somehow, she managed to turn away from Erin in time to not get puke on her when she threw up; she felt the physicist rub her back, but somehow, Erin’s tenderness only made her feel worse, and she puked again, until there was nothing left she could have thrown up.

She wasn’t sure if the tears burning in her eyes came from what she had done or from vomiting, but figured it didn’t make much of a difference, a small sob escaping her as she lost the fight against them.

“Holtz, no, it’s okay, please don’t cry”, Erin fretted, prompting Holtzmann to look up at her through watery eyes, her voice cracking when she replied.

“How can it be okay”, she demanded, wiping at her eyes angrily, in an oddly child-like gesture, “I killed him Erin, I _killed_ him, I’ve never even fired a gun before and now…”

She saw the blood splash again and her stomach clenched once more, only dry heaving coming from her this time though; Erin kept rubbing her back, her mind racing as she tried to figure out how to make this better – it had upset her too, to see the engineer shoot the guy like that, but she knew that there hadn’t been much of a choice, and now, she hoped she could somehow find the right words to make Holtzmann see this.

“We had no choice”, she finally said, still rubbing the other woman’s back, “you had no choice, Holtz, if you hadn’t shot him, he would have shot us or… hurt us another way, you know what they wanted to do to us…”

“I know”, Holtzmann gave back, sniffling, “I _know_. But I can’t help it Erin, I just keep thinking if there was something I could have done differently, he’s going to die and it’s my fault…”

Not sure what else to say, Erin just hugged her in response, wrapping both arms around her; for a few moments, Holtzmann didn’t react the slightest to the embrace – before she suddenly and tightly hugged her back, buried her face in Erin’s shoulder and just cried with big, heaving sobs, and all Erin could do was hold her and rub her back, squeezing her eyes shut to fight against her own tears as she realized that she no idea how to make this better and how to relieve Holtzmann of the guilt plaguing her.

* * *

For the rest of the day, they kept walking, and Holtzmann was uncharacteristically quiet; Erin’s heart ached for her each time she looked at her and saw the glum look on the engineer’s face, but she still couldn’t think of the right things to say to take that pain away, and at this point, she doubted that there were these magic words which could make everything better, realizing that Holtzmann would have to deal with this mostly herself and that all she could do was to be there for her the best she could.

“It’ll get dark soon”, she spoke up after they had walked in silence for quite a while, “we should find a place to stay.”

Holtzmann just nodded, barely looking at her; feeling bad for not knowing how to make this better, Erin briefly reached out and touched the engineer’s shoulder, Holtzmann just giving her another brief, miserable look in reply before her gaze dropped down to the road beneath her feet again.

They kept on walking for a bit longer, until they found a motel; Erin hoped it would be abandoned, unlike the pharmacy, and to her relief, it was, the physicist quickly locating the key to the nearest room before she led the way there, Holtzmann trudging along behind her.

During dinner, Holtzmann was just as quiet, and still found it hard to look at Erin; and afterwards, when Erin suggested that she should get sleep first, she only nodded timidly, the redhead’s heart aching for her as she watched her curl up on the bed, apparently unperturbed by the fact that it didn’t look all too clean.

It didn’t take long until Holtzmann was fast asleep, but just from watching her, Erin could tell she didn’t rest easy; she kept letting out small groans, and twitched, but even though the physicist easily figured out that her partner was having nightmares, she couldn’t bring herself to wake her, telling herself that Holtzmann needed rest, even if it was an uneasy slumber, and possibly one filled with dark images.

If she had known what Holtzmann was dreaming, she would have woken her in a heartbeat.

_You not only killed me,_ the man she had killed was telling her in her nightmare, staring at her with bloodshot eyes, his mouth smeared crimson, _you killed my friend, too. Because he stayed, you know he did, and then I died and turned and killed him and you never even knew his name._

Blood started to spread on his shirt where she had shot him, and began to trickle from his mouth; his skin rapidly lost all colour as he turned into of the things, and then he lunged at her, with an inhuman roar, and as her eyes flew open she saw someone bent over her, grabbing her arms, and she let out an unarticulated shout as she lashed out, barely missing the shadowy figure holding her down as the person flinched back.

“Holtz!” a familiar voice said urgently, and belatedly, she recognized the voice as Erin’s, feeling only worse when she realized that she almost had hit the redhead, “Holtzmann, it’s me, it’s okay!”

For a few seconds, Holtzmann just stared at her in the dark, still somewhat caught in the nightmare – before she burst into tears, sobbing so violently again that her whole body trembled, and quickly, Erin wrapped her up in an embrace again, holding her close and rocking her a bit and gently caressing her hair, feeling tears sting in her own eyes as she realized how much Holtzmann was suffering – and that she had no true idea how to help her or how to make this better.


	17. Chapter 17

Sitting alone in the dark hadn’t helped Holtzmann much with her guilt, but she knew that Erin needed her rest, as well; and so, she didn’t wake the physicist up, but sat staring out the window, looking for any of the things approaching, and trying to not think of what she had done.

_Erin is right_ , she told herself when that failed miserably and she finally gave up on it, _you had no choice. If you hadn’t shot him, they would have done God knows what to you. You noticed the way he was looking at Erin, if you hadn’t done this…_

She let out a shaky breath and ran one hand down her face, then stilled as she thought she had seen something move outside; squinting, Holtzmann peered out into the dark, glad that she had something else to focus on, even if just for a few moments, something to take her thoughts off of what she had done and the screams of the man still echoing through her mind.

She couldn’t spot any other movement, and held back a sigh, not wanting to wake Erin up; the physicist was slumbering peacefully on the bed, making Holtzmann wonder if she just was much less perturbed by what had happened or if her nightmares didn’t show as clearly as her own apparently had.

As if the redhead was feeling Holtzmann looking at her, she let out a little sigh in her sleep as she turned over, ending up with her back to the engineer; and while Holtzmann knew that this was nothing Erin had done consciously, it hurt, making her feel even more alone with her worries, her hand shaking when she ran it through her hair.

_You had no choice_ , she told herself again, wondering if she’d believe it at some point, if she just thought it often enough; holding back another sigh, she looked out the window again, glad that at least, no things seemed to be shambling around outside, the area in front of the motel room quiet and calm, a soft breeze making the leaves of a nearby tree sway a bit, the only movement she could see.

Again, Holtzmann tried to push the memories out of her mind, reminding herself of the fact that the world had gone to Hell and that she hadn’t had a choice; and just as she told herself that again, something rushing towards the window caught her eye, but before she could do more than flinch back, the rock shattered the window, and she hurriedly shielded her face with her arms as shards flew everywhere.

Behind her, she heard Erin say “Holtz?!” in a panicked, frightened voice; and before she could do more than lower her arms, the man came rushing at her, effortlessly climbing through the window, and she had a second to recognize him as Mac’s friend – before his fist slammed against the side of her head and the floor rushed up to meet her, stars exploding in front of her eyes when she hit the ground.

“Holtzmann!” Erin cried out, her fear only growing when the engineer didn’t respond, but remained motionless on the ground; she scrambled to get off the bed, trying to put it between the man and her, her blood running cold when she realized that the gun was still in Holtzmann’s waistband and that certainly, he wouldn’t give her a chance to ready her bow and arrow.

“Stay away”, she snapped as he glared at her, clenching and unclenching his fists repeatedly; frantically, and trying to do so without letting him out of her sight, Erin tried to find a weapon, grabbing the nightstand lamp at last, figuring it was better than nothing.

“You killed my friend”, he said, his speech a bit slurred, and now, the physicist noticed the strange glint in his eyes, “you shot him and he died!”

He made a grab for her, but she managed to get out of reach just in time, swinging the lamp at him in an effort to keep him at bay; as he had brought his hands up to grab her, his sleeves had slid back, just enough to expose the deep scratches marring his forearm, and all at once, Erin knew what the glint in his eyes was.

“You’re feverish, aren’t you”, she said, speaking quickly in an attempt to keep him occupied and from going after her again, making sure to not stand still so she wouldn’t be within his reach, “and you feel sick, he scratched you when he turned, didn’t he. You’re infected now, you know, you’ll turn sooner or later, possibly sooner rather than later.”

“How would you know”, he demanded, the slur in his speech mixed with a hint of fear now, showing that she had gotten through to him; she cast a quick glance at Holtzmann, just to make sure that the engineer was out cold and not hearing what she was saying, not wanting to reveal this to her, not yet.

“I know everything there is to know about this”, she told him, glad when he stopped trying to get to her and just stared at her, “because my father was part of the team who was responsible for this disease. I know all about it, more than anyone else still alive, I know there is no cure and I know you’re a dead man walking.”

He just stared at her for a bit longer in reply, and she waited for his reaction with her heart racing in her throat, hoping that perhaps, her words had shaken him up enough to make him turn and run… and then he lunged at her, and she reacted by swinging the lamp with all her might, the ceramic base shattering when it slammed against his head.

With a low grunt, he went down, blood dripping from the cut Erin’s hit had given him; he looked dazed, but still tried to grab her, and she reacted by kicking him in the face, even though it made her flinch as her foot connected – she never had been a violent person, and even with the world in the state it was in, acting like this was difficult for her, going against the socialization she had experienced all her life.

Despite that, she didn’t hold back, and the kick was enough to knock him out; he grunted as his eyes rolled back in his head, then his body went limp, and Erin allowed herself to relax, letting out a heavy breath as a shudder ran through her and her stomach clenched up.

_You react like this to knocking someone out,_ she then thought to herself as she dropped the sad remains of the lamp, _no surprise actually shooting someone got Holtz all upset._

She turned to look at Holtzmann, to make sure that the engineer was okay even though the man had knocked her out… and froze on the spot, because her eyes met Holtzmann’s, and the blonde’s were alert and aware and filled with disbelief.

Erin felt like throwing up all over again when she realized that Holtzmann had heard everything.


	18. Chapter 18

“Holtz”, Erin started when the engineer didn’t say anything, but just kept looking at her, then fell silent again as she realized she had no idea what to say; slowly, clearly still in pain from the hit she had taken, Holtzmann sat up, ignoring the man on the ground as she kept staring ta Erin, the redhead barely noticing how her hands started to fidget at her sides as she waited for a reaction.

“Your father”, the engineer finally said, and the barely suppressed anger in her tone made Erin swallow heavily, “was part of… this? Were you in on it, too?”

“No!” Erin gave back at once, and the sceptical look Holtzmann gave her hit her right in the heart, the pain only getting worse when Holtzmann crossed her arms over her chest.

“I wasn’t, I swear”, the redhead said before Holtzmann could say something, “I’m a physicist, not a doctor like my father was, I… I didn’t even know what he was working on until it started to go wrong. He told me then, and let me read his papers so I’d know what’s happening… I wasn’t in on it until it already had started to happen and had started to go bad!”

“And when were you planning to tell me this?” Holtzmann wanted to know, still with that suppressed anger, Erin feeling terribly helpless as she realized she had no real answer to this question, suddenly all too afraid that she’d say the wrong thing now and Holtzmann would end up abandoning her.

“…I don’t know”, she admitted tonelessly, not able to look the engineer in the eye any longer, her gaze dropping to the floor, “I… I’m sorry Holtzmann, I should have told you, but… I didn’t know how and…”

“Well”, Holtzmann gave back, the anger only growing, Erin’s sight blurring as tears filled her eyes, “perhaps, _Hey, Holtz, did you know that my dad helped destroy human civilization_ would have been a good start!”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you!” Erin tried to defend herself, losing her fight against her tears, and the way Holtzmann barely reacted to them only made it hurt more, “because what he and his team did was not my fault and I had nothing to do with it and I was still afraid of the way you’d look at me when I’d tell you! Like you’re looking at me now…”

She fell silent and wiped at her eyes, not knowing what else she could say; and as she had feared, it either hadn’t been the right words or they hadn’t been enough, something she had to realize with another pang in her chest as Holtzmann came to her feet, shaking her head.

“I trusted you”, the engineer then said, not sounding angry anymore all of a sudden, but just tired and sad, “but now I don’t think I can do that anymore. I’ll find another room and be gone when the sun comes up.”

She grabbed her backpack and the crossbow, then turned and started to leave the room; after a few steps though, she stopped, and for a moment, Erin allowed herself to hope – only for those hopes to be shattered as Holtzmann only had paused to remove the gun from her waistband and place it on the small table next to the door, then left the room without looking back, the sound of the door closing behind her awfully loud and final in the quiet room.

Now not bothering to try holding the tears back anymore, Erin sank onto the bed and started to cry in earnest, burying her face in her hands; and so, she never saw it coming, barely registering the noise in the room until the fist connected with her head and the world went dark around her.

* * *

When Erin woke up again, the first thing she took note of was that it was still dark, and still she was outside, and fear immediately made her throat tighten up and her heart race.

The second thing she noticed was that she was being carried over someone’s shoulder, Mac’s friend, she figured; and the third thing, which only made her fear worse, was the fact that her hands were tied behind her back.

“No”, she groaned, still feeling dazed after the hit she had taken, the bit she could see of the world around her oddly blurry, “not… not outside, dangerous…”

“Shut it”, the man grumbled at her, the slur in his speech only having gotten worse, showing how fast the infection was progressing, “and it’s only dangerous for you, right, cause I’m a dead man walking already. Speaking of walking…”

He dropped her then, unexpectedly and without bothering to lower her at all; she hit the ground hard, the breath getting knocked out of her, but he gave her no chance to recover, grabbing her arm and harshly jerking her back onto her feet, a cruel smirk on his face when he pushed the gun he had taken from the motel room against her ribcage, hard enough to make her wince.

“You can walk on your own”, he told her, his grip on her arm tightening, “come on, move it.”

“What do you want from me”, Erin demanded to know, even though she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out; and when he smiled at her, and she saw the sick, insane glint in his eyes, she knew for sure she didn’t want to know, but also knew that it was too late to take the question back.

“We’ll just walk for a bit longer”, he told her, “cause I’m not sure how much farther I can go, you know, I can feel it working inside of me. Like you said. He infected me. So we’ll find a nice place where I can lock us up, and then when I turn, well… I imagine you have seen what they do to still alive humans.”

All Erin could do was stare at him, her heart hammering in her chest so fast that it almost hurt; he let out a humourless chuckle, then kept dragging her along with him, threatening her with the gun whenever she wasn’t moving fast enough for his liking, her mind racing as she tried to find a way to get out of this.

* * *

As she sat alone in the motel room and both her anger and sadness started to fade, Holtzmann started to realize that perhaps, she had overreacted; now that she had some time to think about it, she had to admit that Erin had made a good point when she had said that what her father had done hadn’t been her fault, and if she really hadn’t been in on it…

“And you showed her pretty well that she had good reason to be afraid of telling you”, she mumbled to herself, just to break the uncomfortable silence, “damn, Holtzmann, you really messed up this time.”

She sighed, realizing she didn’t want to do this alone, and certainly didn’t want to not have Erin in her life anymore; and so, she got up from where she had been sitting and brooding on the bed and went back to the room, taking in a deep breath before she knocked the door.

“Erin?” she called out when no answer came, “um, it’s me, Holtz. Um, I’ve been a real jerk and I’m sorry, I really am… can I come in?”

Again the room remained quiet, and Holtzmann started to feel worried and a bit frightened; and that feeling only grew when she grabbed the knob and opened the door, alarm bells going off in her head when she found that the room was empty.

“Oh God”, she let out in a decidedly higher than usual voice as she remembered the man Erin had knocked out, Mac’s friend; a quick look showed that the gun wasn’t where she had left it, and she felt like throwing up when she realized what had happened, guilt slamming into her yet again as she told herself that he never would have been able to take Erin if she hadn’t just left her alone.

_I have to find them_ , she realized, running back to her room to grab the backpack and the crossbow, _I have to find them before he can hurt her, oh God Erin I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, please be okay._

She still thought these words like a mantra as she hurried out of the motel and, after a moment of frantically glancing around, spotted footprints in the dust, hoping and praying she wouldn’t be too late as she started following them, hoping they were from the guy, and that she’d find them before anything could happen to Erin.


	19. Chapter 19

It hadn’t taken long for the guy to find a house he apparently found suitable, and once there, he had used the gun to keep Erin from fighting back as he had tied her to a radiator there, using the lamp cable he had bound her hands with behind her back before he had carried her off; and now, he just sat there, the gun in his lap, and watched her, sweating and breathing heavily, showing quite clearly that he wasn’t far from croaking and turning.

“Please don’t do this”, Erin still tried to reason with him, despite the insane glint in his feverish eyes, “just let me go, please. You won’t even be able to enjoy this, you know they are mindless once they’re turned!”

“Don’t care”, he replied, sounding oddly breathless, and only frightening her more, “I’ll turn anyway, so I might as well take you with me. Your friend took my friend from me, so now I’ll take hers.”

“You might have missed our talk”, Erin said, giving her best to sound even and calm, not wanting to upset him and end up getting scratched or even bitten, “but she’s not really my friend anymore. I doubt she’ll care.”

“Don’t give a shit”, he rasped in response, moving one hand to wipe sweat off his brow, pausing though when he saw how badly said hand was trembling, “gonna do it anyway. Now shut it bitch or I’ll gag you.”

Before she had the chance to react to this in any way, he groaned, then doubled over, clutching at his stomach; knowing what was happening to him, and knowing how fast it would happen, Erin felt panic rise, pulling at her bonds frantically, but the only result was that the cable tightened around her wrists until it hurt, her breath getting caught in her throat when he threw up, a liquid which smelled so foul that it made her eyes water splattering from his mouth and to the floor.

Erin could see some bits and pieces in it which definitely shouldn’t be there, and regretted having looked in the first place, feeling as if her heart might just stop when he looked up again at last and she saw the yellow sheen in his eyes, the emptiness and the mindless, inhuman hunger.

He started salivating as he slowly crawled closer to her, on all fours, looking more like a grotesque animal than a human; but then, Erin thought to herself as she tried to kick him, tried to keep him away, and simultaneously made sure to not get her foot close to his mouth, he wasn’t really human anymore, anyway, but had been reduced to this, a mindless thing which only could think _eat eat eat._

“No!” she cried out as he lunged forward again and she kicked at him once more, successfully driving him a few steps back; she knew that she was just delaying the inevitable, sooner or later, he’d get her, with her hands tied behind her and to the radiator as they were, but she wasn’t willing to just sit there and let it happen.

“Stay away!” she snapped as he tried once more, kicking at him yet again; he growled at her, and a moment later, she heard glass shatter in some other room of the house, and her fear only grew as she couldn’t help but wonder if more things had been attracted by the noise they both were making and had found a way inside.

Once more, Erin pulled at her restraints, with no avail; and just when she began to fully slip into panic, a low _twang_ sound came from the doorway – and suddenly, there was a piece of wood sticking out of the man’s head, and he froze, Erin needing another moment to realize what the piece of wood actually was.

For a moment, she was still afraid, frightened that this all had been too much and that her mind now was conjuring up some sort of hallucination, to make her coming death more bearable; then, the man let out a grunt and fell flat on his face, twitching a few times before he laid still, and in the doorway, Holtzmann dropped the crossbow and ran to her side.

“Holtz”, was all Erin could think of to say, only fully realizing now that she had been sure she’d never see the engineer again; Holtzmann ended up on her knees next to her and frantically looked her over, searching for any signs that she had been scratched or bitten, sounding highly concerned when she asked if he had gotten her.

“Um, no”, Erin told her, and Holtzmann let out a relieved sigh – before she reached up to cup the physicist’s face with both hands and kissed her, quite passionately, convincing Erin that this was real and not some sort of hallucination caused by impending doom.

“Holtz”, Erin brought out between kisses, torn between crying with relief and giggling, “Holtz? Not that I don’t like kissing you but… untie me first?”

“Oh, yikes, sure, yes, sorry”, Holtzmann babbled, making Erin giggle after all, the physicist feeing light-headed all of a sudden as she realized fully that Holtzmann had come to her rescue, and apparently had forgiven her for what she had revealed, after Erin had been so sure that she’d never see her again.

Quickly, Holtzmann untied her, then tossed the cable aside carelessly – before she pulled her closer for another kiss, and now, Erin could hug her back, a chance she made use of at once, one hand moving up to entangle in the blonde’s hair while the other came to a rest on Holtzmann’s back.

“I’m so sorry”, Holtzmann breathed after the kiss, holding Erin’s gaze as she brought one hand up to tenderly caress the other woman’s cheek, “I never should have just walked off like that, I’m such a jerk. I’m truly sorry.”

“Can’t blame you”, Erin gave back, only feeling giddier at the forgiveness, “I really should have said something earlier, I’m sorry, too… I’m just glad you got here in time, if you hadn’t…”

“I’m glad too”, Holtzmann told her, kissing her again before she went on, “if I hadn’t… I don’t even wanna imagine that, I never would have forgiven myself, I’m so glad you’re fine, I love you.”

Belatedly, Holtzmann realized what she just had said, and her eyes went wide behind her yellow-tinted glasses; she had a moment to worry that she had said too much too soon, that she had ruined everything just when they had found each other again – and then Erin smiled at her, and looked so happy that it made her heart sing, and she realized she hadn’t messed up after all.

“I love you, too”, Erin let her know, her smile widening – before they kissed yet again, and all the fear and worries of the last few hours fell off of her as Holtzmann held her close, wordlessly reassuring her that everything was indeed forgiven and that neither of them would have to continue their journey alone.


	20. Chapter 20

Once the sun had come up, they went back to the motel to collect Erin’s belongings, holding hands the entire way; and they kept holding hands as they resumed their journey once Erin had her stuff again, both of them still feeling giddy now that things were fine between them again.

“You know”, Erin spoke up after they had walked in comfortable silence for a while, her tone prompting Holtzmann to give her hand a reassuring squeeze as she realized at once that Erin was about to speak about an uncomfortable topic, “I didn’t have an idea what they were working on before it all started to go wrong and he had to come clean to my mother and me. But even if I had known… I don’t think I could have stopped him. Richard Gilbert was quite certain about the roles men and women had in our society, you know, and his daughter telling him to stop working on something with the potential to destroy the world certainly wouldn’t have sat well with him.”

Holtzmann almost told her that she didn’t have to justify herself to her, that it didn’t matter anymore and that she knew Erin wasn’t to blame for what her father had done; she figured though that Erin needed to get this off her chest, and so, she said nothing, but simply squeezed her hand, the physicist continuing after taking a few deep, controlled breaths.

“By the time it did go bad and he told me, it was already spreading”, she let the blonde know, “and you know how fast it spread so… there wasn’t much left anyone could do. He stocked up on antibiotics and penicillin and other medical stuff, which did nothing against the disease, but came in handy when I met you, and then, because mom and he both were feverish… He told me that I could have the house, to take care, took mom on a drive and they never came back.”

“Oh jeez Erin, I’m sorry”, Holtzmann did say something after all, giving her hand another squeeze, figuring out pretty easily what Erin’s father had done at the end of that drive, “that… wow, that must have been awful.”

“For the first few days after they’d left, I kept being afraid that I’d see them shuffle along outside”, Erin admitted, earning a sympathetic look from the blonde, “it never happened, but… I’m not sure what I would have done if it had. My parents and I, we never really saw eye to eye, but losing them like this hurt… still does.”

Holtzmann stopped walking at that, and Erin had a second to look at her questioningly – and then the engineer was hugging her, Erin feeling a shudder run through her body as she returned the embrace and hid her face in the smaller woman’s shoulder, sudden tears burning in her eyes again when she felt Holtzmann tenderly rub her back.

“I’m sorry you had to go through this”, the blonde mumbled into her ear, the redhead letting out a small sniffle in response as she once more lost the fight against her tears, Holtzmann feeling the hot wetness even through her shirt, “but now you don’t have to do this alone anymore. Even if I was a jerk and ran away yesterday, I promise I’m not gonna do anything like this ever again, okay? If you want me to, I’m here to stay.”

“I want you to”, Erin reassured her at once, smiling as she pulled back from the hug to look at her, even though her eyes still were shining suspiciously, “I’m so glad you came back… I can’t even blame you for being angry with me, I should have told you sooner, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be”, Holtzmann told her, rubbing her back reassuringly, “once I’d calmed down enough to think straight again, I realized that my very reaction showed why you didn’t tell me sooner so… But we better keep this as our secret, alright? Cause I doubt others would react much different to how I initially did.”

Erin nodded at once, grimacing a bit at the thought of some random strangers finding out about what her father had done; she’d had nothing to do with it, but she doubted that an enraged mob would care about this, thinking back to lynch mobs she’d read about and about how quickly they could go out of control.

“We better keep moving”, she suggested after wiping at her eyes once more, just to be on the safe side, “so we make it to this colony before we run into any more unpleasant people like Mac and his friend, or things like that puking one.”

“Don’t remind me of that one”, Holtzmann grimaced, “that was _so not_ my favourite acid.”

At this, Erin laughed and shook her head; and just like that, as Holtzmann grinned back at her, all her worries vanished into nothingness, and she took the engineer’s hand again as they kept walking, suddenly sure that they’d make it to the safe colony and that everything would be alright.

* * *

They walked for most of the day, only making a brief pause to eat a cold lunch; and even though neither of them had pleasant memories of staying at a motel after the previous night, they found another shortly before nightfall, and Holtzmann found a toolbox behind the receptionist’s desk, making use of the items stashed within it to break open the soda and snack machines in the lobby.

“Those sodas are probably all flat and we’ll have to drink them warm”, she said a bit regretfully as she handed a bunch of cans to the physicist, “but it’s better than nothing, huh?”

“Indeed”, Erin agreed, mouth watering pleasantly at the sight of the cans, the physicist realizing that this was another thing she had missed ever since everything had gone to Hell; Holtzmann beamed at her, then moved to empty the snack machine, and not long afterwards, they were in one of the double rooms and munching on Slim Jims and crackers, washing them down with coke and Sprite.

“This is better than I thought flat soda could ever be”, Erin said between mouthfuls, making Holtzmann nod; the engineer hadn’t much of another way to answer, her mouth so full that her cheeks were bulging, the sight making Erin giggle, said giggles turning into full-blown laughter when Holtzmann grinned at her and made it look even worse.

“You better stop”, she said once she had herself more or less under control again, small bursts of giggles still interrupting her, “or something will go down the wrong pipe, you’ll have a coughing fit and spray food everywhere.”

In response, Holtzmann swallowed, then shook her head, sounding perfectly serious and solemn when she replied.

“Please, Erin”, she stated, raising an eyebrow at the physicist for emphasis, “I’m an engineer, and a quite good one at that. No wrong pipes for Holtzy, thank you very much.”

Even though it probably hadn’t been _that_ funny, Erin found herself laughing again; Holtzmann grinned and winked at her, then shovelled more food into her mouth, Erin shaking her head at the sight before she continued eating as well, with slightly better manners, until she felt as if she’d burst, should she have another cracker or bite of sausage.

“I’m so full”, she let Holtzmann know, unceremoniously dropping down onto her back and staring up at the ceiling, “I can’t eat another bite.”

In response, Holtzmann finished her share of the crackers, then made Erin squeak in surprise and delight by picking her up on her arms; grinning, the engineer winked at her, then lowered her onto the bed as she pointed out that resting there would be more comfortable than on the floor, Erin nodding her agreement – before she pulled her down for a rather passionate kiss, and for quite a while afterwards, sleep and even keeping watch were far from their minds as they were busy with much more pleasant activities.


	21. Chapter 21

For the next weeks, Erin and Holtzmann spend their days walking and their nights in abandoned houses and motels, always making sure to keep an eye out for the shuffling things and for other humans; after the unpleasantness with Mac and his still nameless friend, they were wary of other people, and gave their best to steer clear of them, figuring they’d be around other people more than enough once they’d arrive at the colony.

They successfully avoided the shambling things and other survivors, their routine of one of them sleeping and the other keeping watch making sure they were as safe as they could be in this mess the world had become; after all they had been through since said mess had begun, even before they had met, it was no surprise that they both had nightmares, but they had agreed upon waking the other when the one keeping watch noticed something of the bad dreams, and then, they’d hold each other until it had gotten better again.

“I think I’ve walked more in the past few weeks than all of my previous life combined”, Erin groaned once they settled down for yet another night; they were close to the border at this point though, and Holtzmann figured that they’d reach the colony in the next day, the day after that at the latest, and even though she was somewhat nervous about this, she was looking forward to it, as well, not allowing concerns that it might not even exist to seep into her thoughts.

If Erin had similar doubts, she didn’t let them show, but just kept on walking with Holtzmann; the engineer nodded her agreement to her girlfriend’s assessment about walking, then offered a foot rub with a slight smirk on her face, and Erin blushed at the look the blonde was giving her, then smiled, a hint of coyness in her voice when she replied.

“But Dr Holtzmann”, she said, making Holtzmann’s smirk widen, “don’t you know that foot rubs can quickly get… derailed? And what if we don’t pay enough attention then?”

“I’m pretty good at multitasking”, Holtzmann reassured her, already pulling one of her feet into her lap; for a moment, Erin still thought of protesting, all too aware that this could end very badly if they’d end up missing a thing or more shuffling around outside – and then Holtzmann pulled off her shoe and dug her thumb into the arch of her foot, and she forgot all about being watchful and careful.

“Oh God Holtz that feels so good”, she groaned as Holtzmann moved her other hand to bend her toes; the engineer just smiled, clearly pleased by that reaction, giving her a wink before she focused on making Erin’s feet feel better, keeping one eye at the window nearby though just in case, but none of the things interrupted the foot rub – nor what followed it, Holtzmann giving her best to make Erin feel amazing and to take her mind off how much her feet were hurting.

* * *

They walked for most of the next day, and Holtzmann started to worry about the colony being real after all; and just when she began to think that it wasn’t real after all, that they had travelled all this way for nothing, she saw smoke on the horizon, and excitement flooded her, the way Erin squeezed her hand showing her that the physicist had seen it, too.

“Think that is the colony?” Erin said out loud what Holtzmann had been hoping for; and even though she knew that agreeing might only get false hopes up, Holtzmann nodded, unable to keep a giddy smile off her face when she replied.

“I do think so, yup”, she let Erin know, making her smile, as well, “that looks like camp fires or maybe from ovens inside houses, not like a random blaze. The location seems right, too, but we better be careful, just in case…”

Erin nodded, thinking back to the men they had met, holding back a grimace at the unpleasant memory; Holtzmann briefly squeezed her hand, having the same thoughts, then they kept walking, their excitement only growing the closer they got to the smoke in the sky.

Not long after they had spotted the smoke, they were close enough to spot the crude looking wooden fence which had been put up, said fence high enough that they couldn’t peer over it – and if it was supposed to hold off the things, Holtzmann figured that this made sense, even though she wasn’t sure how much the fence could actually withstand, but at least, she realized, it was stable enough to hold the weight of what she assumed were guards, two of them appearing on top of it and peering down at them, one man and one woman.

“Hey!” the woman called out to them, and a second glance as the couple got closer showed that both of them were armed, carrying what appeared to be shotguns, “you people alive?”

“Yeah”, Holtzmann called back, Erin nodding along in agreement, “don’t shoot us please, we come in peace!”

The woman snickered at this, while the man simply raised an eyebrow; then, the female guard turned and called down to some unseen other person that new ones were arriving and that they should open the gate, said gate being pushed open a few moments later, even though “door” would probably be the better description, Holtzmann thought to herself, since it wasn’t as big as she would have imagined an actual gate to be.

“Come in quick”, the woman called down to them, “before any of the things notice you and try to get in, too.”

Not wanting to bring this kind of danger to the colony, Erin and Holtzmann sped up, and quickly stepped through the gate; and as it was closed again behind them, they looked around, feeling giddy now that they had reached the goal of their journey.

The fence had been built around what Erin assumed had been a sort of suburb before everything had gone wrong; the smoke they had seen came from camp fires where people were preparing food, and other people were milling about, working on the houses and talking.

“Welcome”, the woman who had spoken to them first greeted them, coming down the somewhat rickety looking stairs leading from the guarding post back to the ground, “I’m Abby, chief of the guard, we’re glad you made it here. We have a doctor who’ll check you through first, then you can be assigned living space and we’ll find out how you can help around here. I imagine you’ll want to stay together?”

With those words, she glanced at the joined hands of the two, didn’t seem put off or upset though, and so, Erin nodded; clearly, the woman had expected that, since she smiled at them, then let them know she’d lead the way to the doctor’s home, but just when she turned to do so, a voice called out “Jillian!”, and Holtzmann froze, Erin just having time to give her a confused look, her confusion turning to worry when moments later, Holtzmann’s gaze darkened.

“Dr Gorin”, the engineer stated, eying the woman hurrying towards them with an odd hardness in her gaze, “you made it here, I see.”

“I’m glad you did, too”, the elder woman gave back, even though Erin couldn’t really see said gladness, the other woman’s face remaining quite expressionless; Holtzmann let out a snort, then let go of Erin’s hand so she could cross her arms over her chest, and all at once, Erin thought back to how they had met, to what Holtzmann had told her once she’d been healthy and aware enough to talk.

“Are you”, Holtzmann wanted to know, “cause you just left me behind when I hurt my leg! If Erin hadn’t shot me, I would have died out there!”

“What”, Dr Gorin replied, sounding confused now; Holtzmann shrugged it off with a “long story”, her gaze softening a bit when the elder woman looked genuinely apologetic a moment later.

“I know that leaving you behind wasn’t the most noble thing”, she admitted, Holtzmann looking sceptical, but not as angry anymore as she had, “but, in my defence, back then, we didn’t know enough about this so I could be sure that you wouldn’t turn and attack me. I can promise you though that I won’t abandon you again, no matter what happens.”

Erin wasn’t quite sure if that would have been enough for her to forgive what apparently had happened between Gorin and Holtzmann, but apparently, for the engineer it was; she nodded after a moment, and the elder woman gave a brief, tight smile, then gave Abby an apologetic look.

“Sorry for interrupting”, she stated, earning a nod from the guard, “I’ll leave them to your capable guidance now.”

“Let’s go see the doc”, Abby said in response while Gorin hurried back to whatever she had been doing before she had spotted Holtzmann, “you’ll love her, her name’s Patty and she’s such a ray of sunshine, even with all the shit going on. Just follow me.”

Nodding, Holtzmann took hold of Erin’s hand again, making her smile; and as they followed Abby to the doctor, they both started to fully realize that they had made it, that they were safe now – as safe as they could be, in this new, messed up world – and that they could be together in peace now, and they smiled at each other before they exchanged a brief, but tender kiss, looking forward to the life they’d build there together.

 


End file.
